Between the high-value man TikToks and the constant pressure to live your best soft girl life, it’s easy to feel like a total failure if you aren’t posting about a Louis Vuitton haul from a private jet.
But let’s get real. Back here on planet earth, most of us aren’t worried about designer bags; we’re just trying to figure out how to keep the low fuel warning light off our car dashboards.
And, while we’ve all been told the early stages of a relationship should be nothing but roses and candlelit dinners, the reality of 2026 is much grittier.
It’s not exactly breaking news for me to sit here and tell you that the economy is rough right now. I don’t know anyone who isn’t worried or struggling, and with things the way they are, it can certainly make the honeymoon phase of a relationship get real and very awkward, quickly.
This 28-year-old woman and her 32-year-old boyfriend definitely don’t have it made, nor are they sitting on piles of cash at the moment.
She does earn more than her boyfriend, and while he works tirelessly, he really isn’t paid well. He works 6 days out of the week and frequently pulls 10-hour shifts.
“I am attracted to how hard he works in his position. He is trying to find something else that 1. Pays more and 2. Allows more days off when thinking of a future family,” she explained.
Her boyfriend applies to lots of jobs, but doesn’t have any success, and it’s not for a lack of trying. The current job market is challenging, no matter who you are or what you do, so it is no surprise that he has been unable to find a new position.
Back when she first started dating her boyfriend, he expressed concern about whether they would work out since he was applying to jobs in other cities with more opportunities.
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He currently wants to stay where they are, which she thinks is because of her, and he has switched to applying to local opportunities and remote positions.
Anyway, yesterday evening, which is the night before her boyfriend gets his paycheck, he was running out of gas. He told her he hoped to get home, as he didn’t have enough cash to fill up his car.
She said she could give her boyfriend some cash to get gas, and he declined her offer. But not long after that, he did say he would appreciate a little help.
“I asked how much he needed, and he said just whatever I wanted to give. It was only $20. And I DID offer. However, it is making me feel weird that I gave him money,” she explained.
“He, by no means, has ever made me feel used for money or things. Is this okay that I helped pay for his gas? We align on so many things and get along extremely well. I don’t want this to be bothering me the way it is.”
“And it would be different if he wasn’t working hard and trying to make money. He doesn’t spend lavishly on unnecessary purchases. Just struggling in general with low pay and expenses of life.”
Her boyfriend does not live at home; he lives with a roommate. He’s barely making ends meet, but she’s in the same boat as him. She is painfully aware of the struggle, notably in light of how sky-high gas prices are.
Aside from the gas conversation, her boyfriend stated he didn’t have any food in his house and didn’t have money to buy any. He came over to her place and ate the food she had in her freezer. He was thrilled and didn’t want her to go out and buy something from a local restaurant for dinner.
“I just hate that this is making me feel the way it is. Should I be worried about this? We have been together only 5 months and are exclusive,” she continued.
“I don’t know if timeline matters. I just don’t want to be used, but he’s never [given me an indication] of that. I guess I just hope it’s not going to become a pattern.”
Adding context: she could tell it was difficult for her boyfriend to accept the help, and it’s not like he mooches off of her. They split the costs of date nights and activities.
She really can’t afford to financially support herself, let alone him, and she says that social media makes it seem like men should be rich providers.
She’s left wondering if she needs to just try to stop obsessing over that stereotype.
It is totally normal to feel a bit of provider-guilt or fear when the traditional dating script gets flipped. But remember: a pattern isn’t a one-time $20 gas fill-up; it’s a lack of effort.
If her boyfriend’s pulling 60-hour work weeks and still coming up short, the problem comes down to the paycheck, not his character.
At the five-month mark, she’s not his benefactor, but she is his partner. If she can help without hurting her own bank account, she should do it because that’s what a good partner does.
She needs to ignore the social media garbage she’s been consuming. After all, she’s looking for a teammate, and sometimes teammates need a lift when the tank is empty.
What advice do you have for her? Do you think provider culture on social media makes us too hard on men who are genuinely hardworking but struggling in this economy?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
