Coming across your ex’s wedding photos on social media is like a museum exhibit: you gawk, maybe you wish them well depending on how things ended, and you keep on scrolling.
But for him, a comment from the mother of the bride left on the wedding photos sent him on an investigation into his ex’s infidelity.
Would you stay silent if you learned that your college ex had cheated on their now-spouse with you, or would you send along the screenshots with the proof?
Several years ago, this 23-year-old man dated a girl the same age as him, named Michelle. They met back in college and spent a year and a half in a serious relationship.
They eventually broke up in an amicable way, and it was only because their class schedules didn’t line up and were causing conflicts.
Their relationship was completely average; your typical collegiate love story about two people being pulled in different directions. Michelle isn’t someone who’s really been on his mind since their breakup.
Yesterday, he was on Facebook when he saw that a friend he still shares with Michelle posted photos from Michelle’s wedding.
“I originally was going to just post a congratulations, but when I was reading the comments, I saw a comment from my ex’s mom talking about how they had been dating for 5 years,” he said.
“This put a huge pit in my stomach, since Michelle and I were dating in 2022, when [she] and her partner would have been together for at least a year.”
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“I feel like I have an obligation to let her husband know that she cheated on him, since if the roles were reversed, I would want to know.”
Next, he went on Michelle’s husband’s Instagram page to double-check that he was right and that Michelle had cheated on this guy with him.
The husband had shared a lot of photos of the two of them together as a couple while he was still seriously dating Michelle. He even went back through his old messages with Michelle, and confirmed that she spent a week at his dorm room while she was telling this guy she loved him (he could see this in the comments on the photos).
He’s struggling with how to reach out to Michelle’s husband and tell this poor guy about her infidelity. It’s not like he knows this man or that they run in similar social circles.
“What should I do? Should I reach out to the husband directly? How do I explain things to him? While most of my conversations with Michelle were over text or Snapchat, she had originally asked me out on Instagram, and I have a few months’ worth of sporadic messages on there between us showing that we were actively dating during that period,” he continued.
While this is definitely a questionable and messy situation, I think it’s so far in the past that he should just stay far away and not get involved.
Largely, I love disclosure, but college doesn’t count as the real world. Also, is anyone monogamous in college? If Michelle had been married and dating him, that would be a different story.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
