I think any mom would worry about their teen daughter dating an older man with kids and a complicated life. But she has to worry about that on top of a fake pregnancy, a commune plan, and a 19-year-old who’s unraveling pretty quickly.
This woman has a 19-year-old daughter who started dating a 34-year-old single dad three months ago. Her daughter’s boyfriend has a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old and lives two hours away from them.
Her daughter is still living with her at home and recently graduated from beauty school, though she is still completing her required tests. Her daughter does not have a job, since she’s only ever been a full-time student.
While her daughter’s boyfriend is alright, he’s full of chaos and energy. His kids are a handful, and his oldest appears delayed to her.
“Boyfriend has a good job. He is still married to his first wife and in the middle of a divorce. His baby mama has no visitation of the kids,” she explained.
“His family is helping raise his kids. He works long hours, and it seems like the kids need more attention. His ex-wife lives in their old house, and he stays with his family sometimes, and with his best friend, who is a woman, sometimes we will call her Tessa.”
“My daughter describes both environments as chaotic and maybe a little bit trailer trashy. I don’t really approve of the relationship, but I figured it wouldn’t last. My daughter usually drives down for a visit every weekend, and they stay in a hotel and hang out with Tessa.”
Her daughter is wildly insecure about the relationship her boyfriend has with Tessa, even though her daughter’s boyfriend has said Tessa is basically his sister.
Oh, and the best part is her daughter’s boyfriend wants her and Tessa to live together, commune-style, with all of the children. Tessa has a boyfriend and had a pretty recent pregnancy scare, and she does have two kids from two different dads already.
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Right after Tessa’s pregnancy scare, her daughter announced to her boyfriend that she was pregnant with twins. Her daughter has a method to prevent pregnancy, which is why she was dubious when her daughter came to her about being pregnant.
Her daughter started telling her information about her pregnancy and how she had gone to see a doctor, and that’s where things got strange.
“My daughter seemed to believe she was pregnant, but also seemed to be using fake ultrasound pictures. She spoke on the phone to doctors. She was picking baby names,” she said.
“She did not have a positive pregnancy test when I insisted that she take one. I insisted that she tell her boyfriend that she isn’t pregnant. She said that she told him, and he was sad. She was devastated emotionally.”
The following day, her daughter made an appointment, removed her method of preventing pregnancy, and got folic acid, which is crucial for supporting an unborn baby.
Next, her daughter said that she and her boyfriend are actively trying to have a baby, and she says her boyfriend is supportive of this.
Her boyfriend is set to visit this upcoming weekend, so she hopes she will have the chance to speak to him alone about what’s going on.
Her daughter has never babysat or been around babies, which is also alarming to her, since her daughter is clueless about how much work infants are.
“My daughter has lied before (who hasn’t?), but this has been really uncomfortable. She is acting completely normal, but saying things that are not rooted in reality,” she continued.
“I’m not sure how to handle this. Of course, I want to preserve my relationship with my daughter, and I want her to be safe and stable. I don’t want her to make a lifelong mistake. She isn’t ready to be a parent.”
“At best, it would be bad timing to bring another child into a chaotic situation. I’ve only met her boyfriend a couple of times, and I was prepared to hate him, but I don’t. The entire situation has gotten really weird. I want everyone to be safe, and I don’t want my daughter in a situation that she can’t handle or one that promotes the type of mental instability that she is demonstrating now.”
What I’m most worried about is the part where her daughter was convinced she was pregnant while toting around fake ultrasound photos.
I’m also concerned about the 15-year age gap between her daughter and her boyfriend, because what on earth is a 34-year-old man doing with a teenager, and what do they even have in common?
I do think her smartest move here is to pull her daughter’s boyfriend aside this weekend and see if he’s down to help her get her daughter some support for her mental health. She definitely needs to see a doctor since she is not acting right.
Once that’s solved, then she can work on trying to get her daughter to see reality. She should cut her off and stop giving her financial support, as she will quickly learn how tough it is to be an adult, let alone an adult with a baby.
And her daughter’s boyfriend does come across as culty with the whole commune plan. She should do a background check on her daughter’s boyfriend just for the fun of it, because I’m curious if anything will come up, and she might be able to use that to her advantage.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
