If you were dating someone who refused to let you come over to their house, would you worry that they were hiding something, or someone, from you?
This 30-year-old woman has been dating a 42-year-old man for the last couple of months, but this is not their first rodeo. They used to date in the past, broke up in November of last year, and reconnected in January of this year.
They spend a ton of time with one another. They hook up, they travel together, and this guy frequently sleeps over at her house. When he does stay over, she never officially invites him.
It’s more like if it happens, it happens, though there have been countless times it was inconvenient for him to stay over, but she didn’t tell him no, as that would mean he would have to travel a couple of hours home late at night.
Yesterday, she made the trip to his city to see him (he usually comes to her), and they spent the whole day with one another. They grabbed drinks, got food, and everything was normal. Later on, she brought up going back to his house, and he got weird about it.
“He immediately became awkward and said his cleaner hadn’t been and his flat was a complete mess. I asked whether it was actually dirty or just messy, and he said it was just messy,” she explained.
“I said I genuinely wouldn’t care, but he still seemed reluctant for me to go there. Perhaps of some relevance is that a few weeks ago, I asked him directly where things were going because I’m looking for a serious relationship.”
“His response was that we were ‘exclusive and working towards a relationship,’ but he wasn’t ready to make it official yet. I decided to give it more time, as I do like him. Anyway, I ended up getting the train home at night, with barely any phone battery (my own fault, I know) and feeling quite upset.”
He didn’t bother checking in to make sure she had arrived back home safely, and this morning, he didn’t reach out to her either.
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She thinks it’s really strange that this man is refusing to let her come over, especially since she used to sleep over constantly a year ago. She has also met his family and friends.
She doesn’t think he’s married and hiding a wife at his house, because, as she said, they split up in November and reconnected in January, which would have only left him with two months to get married.
She’s wondering if she should dump him because of this, and if perhaps he is seeing another woman and doesn’t want her to know that.
To me, it sounds like he might not have a wife, but he definitely has another girlfriend who is living with him; otherwise, why would he suddenly not want her in his house?
I’m afraid that she’s his side chick. It’s also not adding up that he doesn’t want to make their relationship official, which further points to her being the other woman.
I think she should dump him and move on.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
