If you caught your married coworker having an affair, would you out them to their spouse, or mind your own business for fear of making things awkward in the office?
This 26-year-old woman has a 32-year-old male coworker who is married but having an affair with one of their other coworkers, a 23-year-old girl.
The affair has been going on for five months, and he has not been trying to hide it in the office. She watched as her coworker purchased snacks and gifts for his mistress and took her to the spa or to the movies.
She knows they spent loads of time together when off the clock, too. Initially, she looked the other way, as she thought she had the wrong impression.
But one day she caught her coworker kissing his mistress in the stairwell of the office, and she snapped a photo without them even seeing her.
Of course, she didn’t say a word, but she did track down her coworker’s wife on social media through his profile and told her about it.
“I sent her the photo along with a short message that said, ‘I didn’t want to hurt you, but I felt you deserved to know the truth.’ I used my real account because I didn’t think of it much,” she explained.
“The next day, my coworker confronted me at work. He was furious and accused me of invading his privacy. He told me his wife had given birth just a month ago, was recovering, had no income, and had no family support because they had disapproved of their marriage.
“According to him, by telling her, I had destroyed her life and left her in a position where she might have to raise their baby alone. He said the affair wasn’t serious and that he was just looking for ‘a little spark’ in his life.”
Her coworker insisted he was going to end the affair once his wife had completely recovered from giving birth. Then, he intimidated her by saying he’s going to report her to the cops for taking that incriminating photo.
Ever since her coworker confronted her, she’s second-guessing what she did. However, she does think his wife needed to know the truth, but she can’t quit replaying what her coworker said in her mind.
She is scared of her coworker, as he’s got a lot of power and money. She’s worried he could try to deny his wife child support if she leaves, or make allegations about his wife for being sick.
She has considered going to HR, but the woman in charge there has a great relationship with her coworker, so she’s doubting HR will side with her.
She’s right that her coworker’s poor wife should have been alerted to her husband’s behavior behind her back. Everybody has a right to know if their spouse is cheating on them.
I mean, she should not have used her own personal account to alert her; it would have been better for her to send it anonymously, but it’s too late for that now.
Oh, and she did not ruin this woman’s life; her coworker did that all on his own. And finally, she shouldn’t be scared of her coworker threatening to go to the police, because if he had a valid claim, he would have already done so.
There’s no expectation of privacy in the stairwell of an office, and she took a photo of him in a public place, so she’s more than fine.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
