If you were about to marry someone who threw their financial responsibility out the window in order to send their kid to the college of their dreams, what would you do?
This woman’s fiancé and his ex have managed to save up $40,000 to send their daughter to college. Her fiancé is co-signing his daughter’s college loans and taking out a Parent PLUS Loan.
This all means that her fiancé will be on the hook for $160,000 worth of loans for the next four years. His daughter is going to a college that costs $60,000 a year, since she’s not a resident of that state.
“He does not have room in his budget to make the roughly $1,800 monthly payment once payments start. I think loans are fine, but within reason [and within the] budget,” she explained.
“I think this loan amount is crazy high and not manageable with his income and other bills. We’ve discussed so many other ways to obtain a less expensive college degree.”
Initially, her fiancé said his daughter would have to get the loans herself. But then he changed his mind and said he would be taking out a $65,000 loan for his daughter.
He changed the sum again to $100,000, then to $160,000, which is where they are at right now, and he just cannot afford that at all.
“The amount keeps increasing because he wants to make his daughter happy attending the school she wants. I feel like I can’t trust him now with money decisions when we used to be on the same page,” she added.
“To him, it’s all about making his daughter happy at any cost. So when I express that this financial decision holds very little logic and does not make sense, I’m the bad guy for thinking he’s not a good father.”
They actually went to couples counseling for this very reason, and he announced to her and their therapist that he’s taking out the loans and that’s it. He can’t be persuaded otherwise.
Her fiancé also said she has to get on board with what he’s doing for his daughter to get the education she wants. But she is super upset about that.
Her fiancé having to pay $1,800 a month does impact them both. She sees that as a second house payment for another decade. They had planned on retiring in five years, and they need that money he’s throwing away for themselves.
That’s the money they’re meant to live on every month into retirement. Her fiancé makes financial choices that are motivated by his emotions and pleasing his daughter, whereas she sticks to logic and a budget.
“I’m worried this will be a great divide between us, and I have to be the one to change my perspective, yet it’s his actions making me upset,” she continued.
She’s left wondering if she’s overreacting here.
No, she’s underacting, and she should absolutely not marry this man, since he’s so comfortable making financial decisions that negatively impact her.
She doesn’t have to dump him over this; she can keep being in a relationship with him if she so chooses, but there’s no way she can walk down the aisle and tie herself to him forever financially when he acts like this.
Oh, and there’s no way that retirement is on the horizon in the next five years, considering her fiancé is taking out such an enormous loan.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
