Did you know that according to ANAD, an estimated 28.8 million people in America will suffer from an eating disorder at some time in their lives, and that 10,200 deaths annually are caused by an eating disorder, meaning that’s one person that passes away every 52 minutes?
So if your child was dating someone who absolutely would not eat in front of you, would you assume that they had an eating disorder? Or would you just be mad at them for wasting food?
This woman has a 21-year-old daughter who started dating a 24-year-old two years ago, and their relationship is getting serious. Her daughter’s boyfriend is originally from Mexico, but moved to America as a toddler.
“He has a strange phobia of not wanting anyone to see him eat. And it’s real…I’ve literally never seen this kid put a bite of food in his mouth, despite spending a fair amount of time around him. He is thin, but doesn’t look unhealthy,” she explained.
“The problem is, we will take them out to dinner occasionally for holidays or special occasions. He always orders a full meal. He will cut up the food, push it around on the plate…but not eat any of it.”
“Then after the meal, he will ‘donate his leftovers’ to someone else. It’s even worse when I make home-cooked meals, and they come to dinner. He does the same thing…takes a full plate of food, pushes it around, cuts it up, makes it look messed with…but doesn’t eat any of it.”
At the end of dinner, her daughter’s boyfriend will put everything on his plate right into the garbage, and it’s beginning to infuriate her.
Her daughter’s boyfriend wastes an incredible amount of food. This is her money literally going into the trash, not only with what she’s making him when he’s at their house, but also considering she takes him and her daughter out to eat at pricey restaurants where he doesn’t eat a single bite.
It has created some drama as well, as waiters notice and then want to know what is wrong with the food, while also questioning her daughter’s boyfriend if they should get him something else.
I’ve talked to my daughter privately and said, ‘If he doesn’t want to eat, that’s fine. Just tell him to STOP taking plates of food and ordering in restaurants!’ Her response was, ‘But in his culture, it’s rude for him to not take food. I’m not asking him to do that,'” she continued.
“But I find it so rude that he is willing to keep wasting our money…food isn’t cheap!! [Would I be the jerk] for just announcing that he is no longer invited to meals?”
I am not trying to shame her at all, but she is not educated on what eating disorders look like. One of the biggest signs of an eating disorder is not eating in front of people, and that’s so her daughter’s boyfriend.
It’s also a possibility that her daughter’s boyfriend suffers from deipnophobia, which is a social anxiety disorder where people are afraid to eat in front of others.
But if that were the case, it would be plausible that he would take the food home to eat later, and since he’s not doing that, I am afraid he’s suffering from an eating disorder. Additionally, she noted that her daughter’s boyfriend is thin, which is another telltale sign.
There are so many resources available online to help her better understand eating disorders, and ANAD even offers a free helpline she can call to ask for assistance.
I think she should first read up or speak to a professional about her daughter’s boyfriend, and then educate her daughter. From there, they can both approach her daughter’s boyfriend if she feels comfortable, or she should at the very least have her daughter encourage her boyfriend to seek help.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post below.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
