How Much Is Too Much? Her Mother-In-Law And Sister-In-Law Have Completely Upended Her Wedding Day And She’s Wondering If Her Feelings Are Valid
Planning a wedding is stressful enough as it is without input from family. This woman’s wedding is in four months, and she is still fighting her in-laws just to plan her wedding her way.
The woman met her fiancé in graduate school, and they have been a couple for five years now.
Although her fiancé does not have a great relationship with his family– having only kept minimal contact since he turned eighteen years old– his family is still seriously overstepping in the wedding planning department.
“We both wanted to get married at court, but my mother-in-law insisted on a full-fledged wedding,” the woman said, “In her defense, she offered to pay for a chunk of it. But we are financially comfortable, so we are paying for ourselves.”
Besides just the venue, the woman’s mother-in-law is also fighting for a purely Christian wedding.
“She refuses to include any customs that are Hindu, but my fiancé agrees that we should include both of our traditions,” the woman said.
So now, the woman has been forced to conduct her Hindu traditions the night before the “actual wedding.”
The woman’s mother-in-law has butted in on numerous other occasions beginning from the engagement, too.
“Ever since we got engaged, she has been complaining about how I am making my fiancé look cheap and tacky because I did not want a normal wedding ring– meaning a diamond,” the woman recalled.
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After her now-fiancé proposed with a placeholder, the woman went ring shopping with him and they chose their engagement/wedding rings together. Still, the woman’s mother-in-law cannot accept that the rings make them happy.
“She literally keeps sending me links to ‘more appropriate’–meaning, more expensive– rings because it would save the family embarrassment on the wedding day,” the woman said.
The mother-in-law is not the only in-law with strong opinions, either. The woman’s sister-in-law also felt entitled to be the maid of honor.
“My first cousin is my maid of honor. My sister-in-law threatened not to attend our wedding if we didn’t agree to make her the maid of honor. So, my fiancé had to talk her down,” the woman said.
Being an understanding bride, the woman also wanted her bridesmaids to feel comfortable. So, she only chose a color scheme.
Then, she left it up to the bridesmaids to select any dress style they felt the best in. The sister-in-law decided that she hated the colors, though, and insisted that the couple change the scheme.
“We are now letting her choose the dress and shoe style. We are buying them for her and the whole wedding party. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal– it is our day, and we want it a certain way,” the woman said.
As if all of these demands could not get any worse, the mother-in-law has also been trying to turn the wedding into a “black-tie affair.”
“She sent out a blast to our invitees with the ‘updated dress-code and gifts worth $250 at least.’ My fiancé and I only found out when one of his friends called to confirm,” the woman said, “We have had to call them all up to re-confirm they can wear anything they want and are welcome to turn up without a gift.”
The mother and sister-in-law duo also tried to kick out one of the woman’s bridesmaids for having tattoos, attempted to get a separate friend into the wedding party, and even called the cake vendor to order a “more traditional” cake.
“Are we being unreasonable? Should we just accept what they want and move on?” the woman asked.
How would you handle this situation? Do you think that family should have this much input into your special day?
You can read the original Reddit post here.
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