She Can’t Find A Guy In New York City That’s Interested In Having A Committed Relationship
New York, New York. This woman is struggling to date in New York City’s bustling “what’s next” culture.
All the guys she dates seem to want something casual, but they aren’t necessarily upfront with this information until she’s already catching feelings.
“I just want to meet someone who dates with actual intention, and I don’t know why it’s so impossible,” she shared.
Despite early enthusiasm and regular follow-up dates, the men in her life seem to want to continue dating continuously rather than nailing anything down with labels or commitment.
But, somehow, all of her friends are in relationships or getting married.
“I’m puzzled as to why I can’t seem to meet anyone who at least has the theoretical goal of being in a relationship with someone.”
Even on dates where they’ve delved into vulnerable subjects and opened up to each other, it seems like no one wants to take the next step emotionally or logistically.
Besides the apparent annoyance of dating apps, first dates, and making a good impression over and over again, this pattern is affecting her self-esteem.
“This recurring problem is also giving me a ton of anxiety, disappointment, and questioning if there’s something wrong with me that makes people want to date me for fun but not go anywhere with it.”
ClaudiK – stock.adobe.com
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
Thankfully, Redditors had loads of helpful advice, and she was able to dialogue with them about positive next steps.
For example, one commenter had the perspective that dating app culture has profoundly affected how we choose to commit.
Her dates are probably caught up in the paradox of choice phenomenon, i.e., believing that there are infinite romantic choices around the corner.
One commenter wrote, “If you find someone you like, date them for 3 to 6 months. It will turn into a real relationship if it’s meant to be.”
But she found an issue with this sentiment since it contradicted her previous experience.
Perhaps the most helpful advice came in the last comment; “There is also the possibility that you’re rushing, too … My advice: relax and go with the flow rather than trying to plan everything out.”
She thanked him for his perspective and the “straight talk” and said that looking at her friends’ lives for comparison had been holding her back.
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
If true crime defines your free time, this is for you: join Chip Chick’s True Crime Tribe.
More About:Human Interest
