His Girlfriend Is About To Graduate From Medical School And Wants Him To Help Her Pick Out A List Of Places She Should Go For Her Residency, But He Has No Intention Of Moving With Her And Doesn’t Want To Participate In Such A Life-Changing Decision
A 31-year-old guy met his 27-year-old girlfriend this past February, and they began their relationship casually.
This fall, they took the seriousness up a notch, and they ended up going on vacation together. He also got to meet his girlfriend’s mom too, so things are definitely getting more intense between them.
Right now, his girlfriend is in medical school, and her college is about 75 minutes away from where he lives.
Despite the distance, they make it work, and things have been great between them. Since they are both super preoccupied from Mondays through Fridays, they only have time to see one another on the weekends, and that’s fine by him.
This spring, his girlfriend will be graduating from medical school, and that is where things get pretty sticky.
His girlfriend has just completed the interviews she had to do for her residency, and she’s working on a list of places she would like to end up.
“She wants me to weigh in and create it with her,” he explained. “And here’s where I’m going in circles a bit. Bluntly, I’m not interested in moving – I’d rather live in my current city than any of the 15 cities she might go to (sadly, her specialty has no residency programs here).”
“My job is here, my friends are here, it’s close to my family, etc. I have a life built here that I’m really happy with. And I’m not sure yet if I see myself with this girl long-term.”
“So given that, I’m really hesitant about weighing in on her list – I would feel terrible if she changes her order based on my preferences, matches somewhere I’m more excited about than she is, and then we ultimately break up, or I still don’t feel ready to move come this summer.”
SasaStock – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
But, if he does not choose to help her make this list, there’s the possibility of her going somewhere he hates and has zero interest in living, which will definitely spell the end of their relationship.
He also knows that if he mentions to his girlfriend his lack of interest in her life-changing decision, it’s going to crush her.
“Overall, this feels fast to be talking about moving in together – if not for her residency, can’t imagine we’d already be at this type of a crossroads,” he said.
“But it’s a bit necessary given that I’m not interested in long distance – that feels totally unrealistic for 4 years, and basically all of the locations would be trickier than the current setup. On the flip side, I don’t want to end things.”
His current relationship is the very first time that he has been committed to someone, yet he’s not sure if his girlfriend is the woman he’s supposed to be with for the rest of his life.
Tonight, he’s going to see his girlfriend, and he is aware that she’s expecting him to help make this list, yet he’s torn about what to do.
Do you think he should end things with her now and rip the bandaid off if he doesn’t believe she’s the one for him long-term?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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