Katharina Buczek
3. Be An Active Listener
Along with being aware of your own tendencies, you should also pay attention to how people in your inner circle talk about everything– from mutual friends to different morals and values.
Are the people closest to you chronic complainers or “Debbie downers?” Do they have others’ best interests at heart? Do they uplift and support you, or talk down to you and mock you? Finally, do they have sound values and morals that are not just dependent on superficial grounds?
If you do this analysis and realize that you and a friend are not exactly aligned, it is best to let them go. Of course, this can be extremely difficult– although when it comes to preserving your own mental health, you cannot feel guilty for prioritizing your own needs.
4. Search For The Good In Everyone
Some of the hardest emotions to move past are anger, grief, and resentment. If we leave these negative emotions untended, though, they will only drag us down and weigh on our minds until we confront them.
Now, one challenging but necessary way to let go is to take a look at your past relationships and identify the positive qualities in those who hurt you. This can be daunting and may even seem like a waste of time.
But we all know the saying: “You can’t really understand another person’s experience until you have walked a mile in their shoes.”
That is not to say you were not hurt by someone. A friend or past partner may have treated you really badly or done something that you never deserved. However, speaking or even thinking about them as terrible people is no way to live life. Instead, you must let go and realize that they are likely not inherently bad.
On the flip side, you can also take note of what you learned from these past relationships. Maybe a past partner taught you what you did not want in a future romance. Or, perhaps a friend taught you the tough lesson of how important boundaries are.
Whatever it may be, find the positive in the people and situations you have navigated in the past. Then, try to feel gratitude for the learning experience and use these lessons to inform your future life.
