Should You Walk Down The Aisle If You Aren’t 100% Sure? Spouses Share Their Horror Stories After They Didn’t Trust Their Guts
This man and his girlfriend have been together for three years. And so far, he feels like they have a pretty good relationship.
Given that they have been together for a decent amount of time now, though, he believes his relationship is getting to the point where they need to think about taking the next step. In other words, marriage.
But honestly, he was candid about his feelings toward his girlfriend.
“I am not 100% sure if this is the right person for me,” he admitted.
On paper, he claimed that his girlfriend checks every single box. For some reason, though, there is still a nagging feeling in the back of his mind telling him that perhaps his girlfriend is not meant to be his lifelong partner.
He detailed how in life, he tends to be overly cautious and very pessimistic– which he realizes might be spilling over into his relationship. Like whenever he buys a car, it takes him a year to figure out if a specific vehicle meets his needs before he makes a decision.
“She does make me happy, we have great conversations, we make up for each other’s preferences, I never dreaded coming home or seeing her, and we go to each other for support,” he reflected about his girlfriend.
At the same time, though, he wishes some things were different. For instance, he wishes his girlfriend was more touchy, romantic, and a bit more playful and spontaneous as opposed to rigid.
He wishes they could hit up a bar from time to time, enjoy a few drinks, and stay out late. His girlfriend, though, is the kind of person who reportedly needs to be in bed by 11:00 p.m.
IVASHstudio – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
“I have been with women who had more of these qualities, but they had a ton of faults that were deal breakers for me. Things like verbal abuse, lying, inability to save money, and being a slob are all big no-nos,” he explained.
At the same time, though, he is not sure if the positive qualities he sees in his girlfriend are enough for marriage.
And he has been wondering if not being 100% confident about his partner before tying the knot is a normal feeling or if it is just a big red flag. So, he took to Reddit to inquire about other people’s marriages. Unfortunately, though, the thread revealed how not being completely sure about your future spouse can have tragic consequences.
Horror Stories From The Less Than Sure
“I was not 100% sure. My gut told me not to go through with it on my wedding day, and I didn’t listen to it. I took a Xanax on my wedding day and did it anyways. I wish I would’ve listened to my gut.”
“I also ignored my gut and divorced four years later.”
“I had a panic attack as I was about to walk down the aisle because I knew he had cheated repeatedly in the past, and my body was telling me not to do it because he was going to do it again.”
“But my brain was dumb and trying to say he won’t do it anymore because he’s married now. He’ll be faithful. And we spent so much money on the wedding I couldn’t back out at the last second. But spoiler: he has not been faithful, and there are times I wish I had listened to my gut on my wedding day.”
But, Other People Had Some Helpful Advice
“I don’t think any two people are ‘perfect’ for each other. I just got married in September– we have been together for seven years– and I have no regrets. But sometimes, when my husband does something I don’t like, I wonder if there’s someone out there who wouldn’t do things differently.”
“But then I think there are plenty of people who would be different in one small way. But in the end, they aren’t him, so it doesn’t matter.”
“I was 0% sure. We were 22-years-old, just out of college, and we had one of those 96-hour engagements where we got married at a courthouse and had a reception at the back in the woods lodge my mother-in-law worked at.”
“We have my mom screaming on the phone about what a mistake we were making, and her grandparents threatening to disown her over the whole thing.”
“We’ll be married 30 years this summer. And of this, I am certain: getting married back then, under those circumstances, was the single biggest determinant in both of us maturing into decisive, responsible stewards of our own fortunes.”
“And I am so, so glad we did that. There is nothing in my life which I am prouder than my marriage.”
“I used to believe that ‘when you know, you know,’ wasn’t relevant to people like me. I am a worrier. I overthink everything. My mind is never at peace.”
“That’s what I told myself when I married my first husband. It didn’t work out. Then, years after my divorce, I met the person who made me see that ‘when you know, you know,’ WAS for people like me, too. I’ve never doubted that he’s the right person for me. I just KNEW.”
“And I know that’s an annoying thing to say because you can’t possibly believe that you’d ever ‘just know.’ But I did, and 13 years and two kids later, we are still madly in love with each other, still making each other laugh, still ripping each other’s clothes off literally every single day.”
“So, buddy, I might be in the minority. But I say if you have doubts, this is not the right person for you.”
What side do you agree with? Should you be 100% sure before walking down the aisle, or should you take a leap of faith? Do you think he should propose to his girlfriend or keep looking? If you were in his shoes, what would you do?
You can read the original thread on Reddit here.
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