His Girlfriend Refuses To Clean Up After Herself, And Now He Doesn’t Want To Move With Her To A Larger Place Until The Issue Is Fixed
This 26-year-old guy has been dating his girlfriend, who is 22, for a bit over a year now. At the time they met, she had been living at her parent’s house, which was about an hour away; meanwhile, he had his own place.
Then, after they dated for a couple of months, his girlfriend slowly started to move into his house.
And in the beginning, it worked out nicely. His home is close to his girlfriend’s job site, and everything remained tidy and clean. This is especially important to him since he is a remote worker who owns a dog.
“I need to keep it tidy and easy to vacuum,” he said.
Eventually, however, he wanted his girlfriend to feel like it was her home, too. That’s why he said she should feel free to decorate and furnish the place as she wished.
So, over time, his girlfriend slowly started to “appropriate” his possessions, claiming everything was “theirs.” But honestly, that was not an issue for him at first.
What did start to bother him over time, though, was how messy his girlfriend had become.
It all started with simple things. She would leave a plate out on the countertop or leave her dirty laundry on the floor. Plus, his girlfriend just would not put away items when she was done using them.
After realizing that, he decided to use a strategy his mom used on him when he was younger. More specifically, he just started cleaning up after his girlfriend without saying anything in hopes that she would notice and start doing it herself.
Halfpoint – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
But spoiler alert: that did not work. At that point, he was forced to start verbalizing his actions– telling his girlfriend when and what he cleaned up without including any resentment.
“Like everybody, I sometimes leave things lying around as well,” he noted. “I don’t think it’s such a big deal as I put them away as soon as I realize it.”
That’s why he tried to remain understanding with his girlfriend and just asked her nicely to tidy up sometimes. Then, when she wouldn’t do it, he just kept cleaning up for her.
Eventually, however, he decided to try a different tactic– not touching his home at all.
This didn’t work either, though, and the house became a disaster within a few days. Then, he and his girlfriend were left with a full day of cleaning, which was not realistic.
Yet even after going through that together, the habit of tidying up here and there just has not stuck with his girlfriend. In fact, the only thing she completely takes care of is laundry. But even that, she gets help.
“The box is always full, and both drying racks are always out. Until she brings our laundry to her parent’s place, asking her mom to do three or four rounds of washing and drying for a day,” he revealed.
Now, he claimed to understand that his girlfriend just was not used to living in a home and taking care of it by herself. Before moving in with him, she only had a tiny apartment that she lived in for the work week before returning to her parent’s house on the weekends.
But at the same token, he feels like his girlfriend just does not want to put in any effort and keeps pretending as though she “forgot” to clean up after herself.
And recently, her lack of cleanliness has really started to impact their relationship. Nowadays, he detailed how his girlfriend acts arrogant whenever she is asked to tidy up or clean.
She will either just not respond to him or pretend not to hear him. Sometimes, she even forces him to ask again to confirm she understands or responds with a bunch of hostility.
They have had various conversations about this issue, too. Still, he thinks his girlfriend just does not understand how frustrating and disrespectful it is that he is always expected to clean up after her.
“She thinks that ‘she’s messy and that’s it,’ and that ‘I’m a manic,’ which I’m clearly not,” he vented.
And at the end of the year, he and his girlfriend had plans to move into a bigger place– which she claims will solve their problem.
Quite frankly, though, he believes moving is out of the question until his girlfriend corrects her attitude and starts picking up after herself.
So now, he’s been left wondering how what else he can even do in this situation.
Have you ever lived with a messy partner? Is it his responsibility to clean up after his girlfriend or have to deal with hostility when he asks her to help? Can you understand why he’s having second thoughts about moving at the end of the year? How do you suggest he handle this?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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