Men Open Up About All The Reasons Why They Decided To Actually Cheat
Unfortunately, it’s just not that rare to be cheated on.
Some scientists theorize that our predecessors started engaging in monogamous relationships as far back as seven million years ago. And since then, humans have had an imperfect relationship track record.
But while it’s not uncommon to hear about an affair or secret one-night stand, you might have trouble wrapping your head around why someone would decide to cheat– especially if the cheater was once your own partner.
That’s why one Reddit user recently asked men of the internet to open up about the logic behind their infidelity. And some of the answers are truly thought-provoking– raising questions about everything from emotional maturity to how someone can properly end a relationship when it feels like there’s no way out.
Their Break Up Strategy Didn’t Work
“I broke up with a gal, and she said, ‘No.’ Honestly, I didn’t know that was possible. So, I started seeing other people.”
“I had that [happen] once. Weirdest thing ever! I spent about two weeks preparing for the breakup. I thought that I had a rebuttal for every objection. I never even thought that ‘no’ was an option.”
They Owned Up To Not Having A “Backbone”
“I think that for me, it boiled down to being checked out emotionally but without the spine or backbone to end it.”
Volodymyr – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“The general excuse I used to make myself feel better about the bad actions was that we weren’t compatible anyway.”
“But that had nothing to do with the damage I caused to the heart. I am a little more remorseful and try to be considerate these days, but I fully expect karma to come to throw the egg on my face someday.”
They Sought Validation From Other Women
“Because I was trying to find value and my self-worth in sleeping with women.”
“Growing up, I was far from being a ladies’ man. In college, I worked on myself to improve my self-confidence as all my life I had been longing to have someone who liked me back. All I ever wanted was to have a girlfriend. And as my self-esteem grew, so did my luck with the ladies.”
“Eventually, I was able to get a girlfriend, someone who was good to me, but I wasn’t satisfied. I continued to look for validation from other women, which turned into cheating on her.”
“I thought that I had discovered self-confidence because I could be more social and was more outgoing. But I realized that on the inside, I was still insecure.”
“Growing up in my family, there were no good examples of healthy relationships, either. All my uncles were womanizers. This probably had an impact on me as well.”
“It’s very addictive being wanted– especially if you aren’t often. The shame makes it worse, strangely enough.”
“You can’t really talk to anyone about being tempted or even crossing the line. There’s no support system from your friends or family that tell you you’re [stupid].”
They Simply Lacked Emotional Maturity
“Because I was immature and still acted like a teenager.”
“Same. I can get into the psychology of it, but in the end, I just didn’t have my life together and didn’t care if I hurt anyone. Not a good way to live your life.”
“Pretty much. Complete lack of emotional maturity, mental issues, and generally not being ready for a relationship yet. It’s a lesson learned and something that takes most men years to deal with the shame.”
Have you ever cheated on a partner? If so, why did you do it? Do you have regrets?
You can read the original thread on Reddit here.
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