A few weeks ago, this guy decided to invite five of his friends over for a dinner party. And when he told his friends about the event, he also told everyone that they were allowed to bring a plus-one.
So, by Monday, four of his five friends had gotten back to him and confirmed they were bringing a plus-one. Afterward, he decided to make a group chat with everyone to ask about allergies and dietary restrictions.
Once everyone replied to him, he also put together a menu consisting of four dishes that could accommodate everyone– including garlic and onion stuffed chicken breast, homemade mac and cheese, a skirt steak fajita casserole, and herb biscuits. And by Wednesday, he was able to send out that menu to his friend group to ask for opinions.
Now, he recalled how everyone was fine with his initial menu. So, he planned to proceed with that.
But, the following Thursday afternoon, his fifth friend– who had not asked if they could have a plus-one– reached out and asked if they could invite their female coworker.
Still, he agreed and said that was fine since he had not gone shopping yet and figured cooking for one more person would be easy enough.
However, it just so happened that his friend’s coworker was vegan and never mentioned that to him– even though the menu had already been sent out.
“Maybe I should have asked about dietary restrictions, but I was at work and distracted,” he recalled.
Regardless, by the time Friday night rolled around, he had already begun prepping for the dinner party. And the same night, his friend decided to add their coworker to the group chat and ask what was on the menu.
He had already sent out the menu, though, so another one of his friends just responded.
But to his complete shock, his friend’s coworker shot back a “massive wall of text” berating him for not having any vegan options.
“Some of the highlights included her saying that at least half of the dishes at any event with food must be vegan because vegans shouldn’t have to announce they are vegan,” he explained.
On top of that, his friend’s coworker also demanded that he add at least two vegan dishes to his menu. Or else, she claimed that would prove that he hated both animals and minorities.
He had already started the prep work for the dinner party, though, so he told his friend’s coworker that and claimed he just could not accommodate her this time around.
Now, he did reveal that he honestly could have tweaked two of his dishes to be vegan-friendly using the ingredients he already had on hand. However, he decided against this for a few reasons.
First of all, while he enjoys cooking, it is not easy. And he especially hates when people take his efforts for granted by making demands about his menu.
“Second, based on her rant in the group text, I didn’t want this person at my dinner party,” he added.
But while his reasoning might have been pretty understandable, it quickly became clear that his friend and their coworker did not agree. So, right after he sent his response, both of them blew up in the group chat– hurling insults at him and going on more rants about vegans.
In hindsight, he knows that if his friend’s coworker had politely asked him to add some vegan-friendly dishes, then he would have gladly altered the menu– even if the request was last minute.
But he thought his friend’s coworker was just rude. So, she and his friend wound up not going to the dinner party at all, and he and the rest of his group had a great time regardless.
Still, following the get-together, a few of the guests decided to post on social media about the fun dinner party. And his friend and their coworker both started commenting negatively on all of the posts– calling him out for refusing to accommodate dietary needs.
Since then, the comments have pushed dozens more people to message him, too. Some of the messages have come from people he knows, and others have come from complete strangers.
Regardless, all of the messages claimed that he should always be accommodating of dietary needs even if he is notified last minute since 24 hours is plenty of time to go shopping again.
“And I would normally brush this sort of thing off,” he admitted.
“But some of the people telling me I was being insensitive are people that I consider to be fairly reasonable.”
So now, he’s been left wondering whether he missed something, and if not accommodating his friend’s vegan coworker at his dinner party really made him a jerk.
Can you believe his friend’s coworker freaked out like that rather than just requesting accommodation? Did he have a right not to want the woman at his dinner party after that? How would you have reacted?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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By Katharina Buczek
Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing in... More about Katharina Buczek
