She Felt Heartbroken After Her Daughter Said She Wanted To Come Home And Visit, But She Didn’t Want To See Her Autistic Brother Or Spend Time With Him
Family dynamics can be complex. Parents have different, unique relationships with each of their children, and each child grows up having different lived experiences with their parents.
This 58-year-old woman has two children: Elizabeth, 28, and Michael, 26.
“Sadly, Michael was diagnosed with autism when he was just 2. He is pretty easy to get along with and is a lovely person overall. He throws tantrums or acts really stubborn just occasionally,” she said.
When Elizabeth graduated high school at 18, she moved away to attend college. Elizabeth keeps in touch with her family through phone calls, and she visits sometimes.
However, her visits have become less frequent over the years, and she hasn’t visited her family since last Christmas.
Last week, Elizabeth called and asked if she could visit for several days, and the family was really excited.
“However, she said she would be staying at a hotel and would only like to see my husband and me at a restaurant outside. I was heartbroken that she didn’t want to include Michael. I asked her to please visit us at home so she could see her brother as well. She was not having it,” she shared.
Then, she asked Elizabeth why she didn’t want to see Michael.
“She said she wanted a peaceful evening with her parents. I told her she needed to see her brother, too, since we’re all a family and we need to stick together. Elizabeth told me to never mind, that she wasn’t coming and that she made a mistake,” she explained.
annanahabed – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Growing up, their family sometimes couldn’t do everything they wanted to be of Michael. But she said that she and her husband were supportive of all of Elizabeth’s passions, “be it martial arts, tennis, math clubs, and competitions.”
Over the years, Elizabeth started to distance herself from her parents. Up until her 24th birthday, her parents visited her for every birthday.
But after Elizabeth turned 24, she said she wanted to just do her birthday celebrations with her friends instead.
She and her husband have made arrangements for Michael to be taken care of when they no longer can because Michael only speaks a bit, needs round-the-clock care, and has seizures sometimes.
While she wants Elizabeth to someday be the one to take care of Michael, Elizabeth has made it clear that that isn’t what she wants to do.
Despite her husband taking her side in the situation and agreeing that Elizabeth shouldn’t do this to Michael, she feels sad for causing Elizabeth to change her mind about visiting them. However, several relatives have said that she and her husband are the ones at fault and should have agreed to have dinner with Elizabeth without including Michael.
Do you think she did the right thing?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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