This 28-year-old woman and her boyfriend, John, 31, started dating this year.
John has an ex-girlfriend named Ashley, whom he was in a relationship with from 2016 to 2017. After the breakup, he and Ashley remained close. He’d initiated the breakup because he was no longer romantically and physically interested in her.
Since they broke up, Ashley got into a new relationship not long afterward, and she is still in that relationship. On the other hand, John was single for a couple of years before dating someone for about two years or so.
“His last girlfriend was quite jealous and didn’t feel comfortable about their friendship, but she did meet Ashley, and they were friendly. But John was only talking to her every couple of months because his then-girlfriend felt uncomfortable,” she said.
When she and John started seeing each other, they made their relationship official right away. From the start of their relationship, John was upfront about his friendship with Ashley. Before she and John’s relationship started, he’d already made plans to go on a trip with Ashley and a few of their other friends.
“Even if it was only after our third date or so, I wasn’t comfortable with that because I didn’t know they were that close, and I didn’t know they slept in the same room (even if there were other people). He apologized,” she explained.
During this conversation, she and John came to an understanding that going on trips with Ashley or any other ex-girlfriends was a line that couldn’t be crossed.
John expressed that he didn’t want her to discuss intimate details of hooking up with her previous partners because he would picture it, and it would upset him. While she understood this boundary of his, she had never told him details like that in the first place. But it seemed like John didn’t have as many boundaries as she did as far as exes were concerned. However, she didn’t maintain any friendly connections with previous boyfriends anyway.
After this discussion, John and Ashley continued to text constantly, and even this made her feel uneasy. It made her think of the trip he’d taken with Ashley, and she couldn’t shake the thoughts.