Her Boyfriend Is Still Friends With His Ex And Wants Them To Get Coffee As A Group, But She’s Refusing To Meet His Old Girlfriend Because It Would Just Make Her Uncomfortable
This 28-year-old woman and her boyfriend, John, 31, started dating this year.
John has an ex-girlfriend named Ashley, whom he was in a relationship with from 2016 to 2017. After the breakup, he and Ashley remained close. He’d initiated the breakup because he was no longer romantically and physically interested in her.
Since they broke up, Ashley got into a new relationship not long afterward, and she is still in that relationship. On the other hand, John was single for a couple of years before dating someone for about two years or so.
“His last girlfriend was quite jealous and didn’t feel comfortable about their friendship, but she did meet Ashley, and they were friendly. But John was only talking to her every couple of months because his then-girlfriend felt uncomfortable,” she said.
When she and John started seeing each other, they made their relationship official right away. From the start of their relationship, John was upfront about his friendship with Ashley. Before she and John’s relationship started, he’d already made plans to go on a trip with Ashley and a few of their other friends.
“Even if it was only after our third date or so, I wasn’t comfortable with that because I didn’t know they were that close, and I didn’t know they slept in the same room (even if there were other people). He apologized,” she explained.
During this conversation, she and John came to an understanding that going on trips with Ashley or any other ex-girlfriends was a line that couldn’t be crossed.
John expressed that he didn’t want her to discuss intimate details of hooking up with her previous partners because he would picture it, and it would upset him. While she understood this boundary of his, she had never told him details like that in the first place. But it seemed like John didn’t have as many boundaries as she did as far as exes were concerned. However, she didn’t maintain any friendly connections with previous boyfriends anyway.
After this discussion, John and Ashley continued to text constantly, and even this made her feel uneasy. It made her think of the trip he’d taken with Ashley, and she couldn’t shake the thoughts.
chayathon2000 – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only
Even though she didn’t appreciate that John and Ashley texted each other so often, she never asked him to stop communicating with Ashley entirely.
“He wanted us to meet at some point so that I felt more comfortable, but I didn’t really know if I wanted to. I know I am super biased, but I don’t think she’s a person I would be friends with anyway,” she shared.
Then, John suggested the idea of her tagging along to grab coffee with him and Ashley. She rejected this invitation because she could already predict that she would feel obligated to pretend to be nice to Ashley’s face. The thought of seeing him interacting with Ashley would be awkward because it would be impossible not to think about all the things he and Ashley did together while they were in a relationship.
In response, she told John that she still felt uneasy about him spending so much time with Ashley. She continued and said that he could feel free to have coffee with Ashley on his own, but she expressed that she was debating on breaking up with him because his close friendship with Ashley was too much for her to handle.
While she doesn’t see an issue with remaining amicable with an ex, she feels like remaining close friends, having coffee, and going on trips with an ex crosses a line.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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