She’s Allowing Her 13-Year-Old Daughter To Make The Decision Not To See Her Father Anymore, Even Though She Knows That Her Ex Will Likely Blame Her For It
One year ago, this woman and her ex-husband divorced.
They were married for 15 years, and he unfortunately cheated on her. She was the one who chose to end their marriage.
She and her ex have a 13-year-old daughter together named Emma.
“Emma struggled a lot with the split. She’s always been a bit of a daddy’s girl, so his moving out was very difficult for her. He has her one night per week at his request. He’s ‘too busy’ to see her more,” she said.
Several months after she and her ex broke up, he got into a new relationship. As of right now, he and his girlfriend don’t live together.
Her ex’s girlfriend has four children ranging from age 3 to 10.
About six months ago, Emma met his new girlfriend. At first, everything seemed to be going smoothly, and everyone was content with the situation.
However, each time that Emma is with her ex, his girlfriend’s children are there, too. Emma gets along with his girlfriend and her children, but she has said that being around all of the children can be a bit overwhelming since she’s an only child and doesn’t know what it’s like to have siblings.
“They do all activities as a family unit because any one-on-one time would be unfair to the other kids. On top of this, they all stay at his two-bedroom place when Emma is there, meaning five kids are sleeping in one bedroom. Emma has complained about a lack of privacy and expressed frustration with having to ‘share’ her dad when she only gets to see him for just a few hours a week,” she explained.
Monkey Business – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
When she tried to talk about this with her ex, the conversation didn’t go well. She told him that it would be more practical to slowly work up to having Emma spend that much time around his girlfriend and her children.
Then, she continued, explaining that not giving Emma the devoted attention she craves would only cause tension in his relationship with her, leading to bitterness down the line.
“He basically said Emma is spoiled, and I’m bitter and jealous because he has a new family now. He says Emma is the problem because she doesn’t engage in their family life and that she needs to learn she can’t have all his attention,” she shared.
“She will have to fit in with his new family eventually, so the sooner she gets used to it, the better.”
In her view, since her ex only has custody of Emma one night a week, that leaves him with six nights a week to spend time with his “‘new family.'”
Plus, he has only been in this new relationship for half a year, and he isn’t living with his girlfriend, so there isn’t a reason for him to pressure Emma to spend all this time with his girlfriend and her children.
Also, she believes that Emma needs more time to process and get accustomed to the divorce, especially considering the fact that it’s only been a year since the separation.
Now, Emma doesn’t ever want to visit him, and she doesn’t feel like it would be right for her to force Emma to do so.
It would be different if her ex was motivated to hear Emma out and listen to her perspective and how she’s feeling about the current situation.
However, he drove the point home that he isn’t willing to consider Emma’s point of view so that he can make her more comfortable.
Currently, she and her ex don’t have an official custody arrangement with the court. She knows that her ex will blame her if Emma ultimately decides to stop visiting him.
Most likely, he’ll claim that Emma isn’t old enough to make this type of choice on her own. She can predict that he’ll tell her she needs to be the one to make sure Emma visits him.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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