When She Told Her Teen Daughter That She’s Disappointed About Her Unplanned Pregnancy, Her Daughter Flipped Out
This 42-year-old woman has a daughter who is 17, and yesterday, her daughter confessed that she’s been physical several times with her 19-year-old boyfriend, and she had no clue about this.
She felt like this was a punch to the gut, especially since she has had a lot of conversations with her daughter about these kinds of things, and she has always asked that her daughter just be open and honest with her about what activities she’s partaking in.
She expected her daughter to keep her in the loop so she could ensure that her daughter was being safe and taking precautions.
“I emphasized that should the need for my advice ever arise, she could come to me unashamed,” she explained.
“However, turns out she omitted mentioning her intentions. Yesterday, she approached me while crying and confessed…Alongside that, she also revealed that she’s pregnant and proceeded to show me two positive pregnancy tests.”
“While I expressed my clear disappointment in her actions, specifically that of having kept her decision from me, I assured her that I wouldn’t turn my back on her. I explained that since she’s failed to be transparent with me, I couldn’t be of help when it came to significant matters…”
She once again repeated to her daughter that she should have taken specific precautions, and she also expressed to her daughter that she was disappointed she didn’t take any of her advice.
She remained calm as she said all of this since she knows what it’s like to have an unplanned pregnancy.
Instead of also remaining calm, her daughter flipped out on her. Her daughter said she was berating her and lying about being a support system.
Aleksandr – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“She claimed my words were offensive and insensitive to her situation and then began yelling about how she made the right call about keeping the extent of her relationship from me,” she said.
“She accused me of getting my frustration out on her because she was an unplanned baby herself, even though I’ve never regretted having her. I’ve never loved her any less just because of the circumstances of my pregnancy with her.”
“She kept claiming I was a failure as a mother because all I could focus on was reminding her of what she should have done differently, not offering her support (which I did, but I couldn’t help feeling upset that my warnings ended up being ineffective). I assured her I only ever wanted to prevent her from following in my footsteps (especially because my unplanned pregnancy caused my daughter’s father to leave).”
Her daughter stormed out while yelling that her boyfriend’s parents wouldn’t be paying for him to go to college after finding out about the pregnancy, so the least she could do was allow him to live with them temporarily.
Her daughter’s boyfriend can afford to pay for rent, or he can afford to pay for college, but he cannot afford to handle both things at once.
Her daughter’s boyfriend works hard and is respectful, and he seems to want to stick around for the baby.
She would be ok with letting her daughter’s boyfriend live with them as long as he helps out around their home and respects a handful of boundaries that she has.
She’s hoping to be able to sit down with her daughter and talk about this, but after her tantrum, she’s been ignoring her.
“I plan on being patient with her, but I can’t help wishing we could sit down and have a conversation about what she wants to do, as well as the pros and cons of each option,” she continued.
“I may have had an unplanned pregnancy when I was 25, but I was an adult by then, with relatively stable finances and emotional support. On the contrary, she’s only 17, so I’ll have to explain to her the additional complications which could pose as challenges.”
“I’d greatly appreciate any advice on how to approach my daughter without triggering her again. I would love to make her understand I don’t mean to criticize her in any way and that the reason behind my words was only so that she would recognize the repercussions of her irresponsibility.”
What do you think is the best way for her to approach her daughter about this?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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