For a little while now, this 23-year-old woman has been hoping to steer her career in the direction of mortgages and lending.
This particular career is a struggle to get your foot in the door if you don’t have certifications and someone willing to give you a shot in the first place.
In order to network, she contacted her friend Anna’s boyfriend, Adam, who is already working in the career she was hoping to get into.
She asked Adam for advice on how she could successfully start her career, and she wanted to know about his career journey.
Right after their conversation, she sent a message to Anna to let her know that she’d talked to Adam about her hopes of entering the career path he’s currently on.
Anna seemed completely comfortable with and appreciated that she informed her about messaging Adam.
Later on, Adam told her about a recently available Mortgage Sales Assistant position at the credit union where he works.
“We talked about the position a little bit, and it seemed, well, honestly, perfect for me. Flexible ‘choose your own hours,’ work from home four days a week, laid back, $4 to $5 increase from what I’m making now (finances are a struggle right now),” she said.
So, she applied for the position and was contacted to schedule an interview. After going through the interviews, the credit union hired someone else a month ago who had more relevant experience than she did, which she acknowledged was completely valid.
While she was interviewing for the job, Anna seemed more aloof than usual. For a whole week, Anna didn’t talk to her whenever she tried contacting her, always brushing her off and claiming she was busy, and she’d let her know what was going on when she had some downtime.
“After a week, she finally explained her feelings, saying she didn’t like how her feelings were not considered, being that I’d be working so closely with her boyfriend. That I didn’t ask her how she felt about it before I applied, among other reasons, and it put a damper on our friendship (we’ve been on and off friends for some years now),” she explained.
She and Anna talked everything out, and their friendship went back to normal.
A month later, she found out from Adam that the person who got the position instead of her didn’t work out, so someone from the credit union would be calling her that day to offer her the job.
When she learned this news, she gave Anna a call to update her on everything because she knew that Anna hadn’t appreciated her not asking for her permission before.
During their conversation, Anna expressed that she didn’t want her to accept the position because she had negative experiences in the past between friends and her boyfriend.
“I’m extremely not like that. Not only am I completely uninterested in Adam, but I also wouldn’t go for a friend’s boyfriend or any guy I knew was in a relationship, for that matter. I am in a very happy, healthy relationship, and the only person I have eyes for is MY boyfriend. I explained to her that this is just business for me, and it has nothing to do with Adam working there, and this career will lead me down the path I’ve been trying to create for myself,” she shared.
She continued, telling Anna that if she was concerned that they wouldn’t be able to hang out as much, they could plan one night a week to get together because, with this pay increase, she’d feel more financially comfortable going out more often.
As of late, in order to save money, she started suggesting that they just get together at one another’s houses so that she didn’t have to worry about spending money, but Anna seemed to get tired of this after a while.
Then, Anna pointed out that she could be assigned to work with Adam as his assistant.
While this is a possibility, she knows that assistants at this credit union are switched around quite a bit to assist whoever needs their help the most, so even if she was assigned to be Adam’s assistant, it wouldn’t be for the long term.
She told Anna that she wanted to be open with her and give her any reassurance that she needed, adding that she understood she couldn’t do anything to alter how she felt.
However, she wanted to do whatever she could to make Anna feel validated and more comfortable with the situation.
In her view, it’s unfair that she’s put in this position where she has to take the chance of losing her friendship with Anna in order to forge this path toward her dream career.
While she understands where Anna is coming from as far as her insecurities, she has never given Anna a reason to worry that she will someday make a move on Adam. The three of them have hung out together on several occasions.
Plus, Anna and Adam have been introduced to her boyfriend, and they’ve invited her and her boyfriend to hang out with them constantly, and there have never been any issues.
When she asked her loved ones for advice, her boyfriend, her other friends, and her boyfriend’s family all advised her to accept the position.
They all added that Anna is attributing her own fears to her, and they don’t think anyone should dissuade her from pursuing the career she has been dreaming of.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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