If you found out that your dad married a girl younger than you across the other side of the world and got her pregnant with twins, what would you do?
This 26-year-old woman has a dad in his 50s who is still very much married to her mom. Last week, her dad revealed that he cheated on her mom with a 20-year-old girl in another country, whom he then got married to, and now this girl is pregnant with his twins.
Since her dad’s new bride is going to be giving birth soon, her dad realized he can no longer keep her a secret. She feels appalled and sick to her stomach over what her dad has been hiding from all of them.
“He was always a [bad] father, and I never expected much of him, but even then, this is just….I mean this girl’s younger than all 5 of his kids,” she explained.
“I always joked that it would happen eventually with how common this is in my culture (unfortunately), but now it’s actually happened, and I can’t believe it.”
“He couldn’t even do a decent job raising his first 5, and now [there are] 2 more babies and a young and vulnerable girl that have to deal with him and his [nonsense].”
She really would love to track this poor girl down and warn her about how horrible her dad is, since she is still young enough to leave him and have a good life.
And this girl is poor, to be clear. The country where she’s from is in a dire position, and she thinks this girl was amazed at the prospects of marrying a man with a great job in the West, since that entails financial security.
The problem is that she has no clue how to even contact this girl, as she lives in a different country. Additionally, her dad’s side of the family supports him being with this girl.
She would like to discuss this with her friends when she sees them in two weeks, but at the moment, she just needs to vent. And for more context, her dad left the country where they live for a couple of months on a business trip, which is when he got married to this girl back in their home country.
Where they currently reside, it’s illegal to have more than one wife, but where they’re from, it’s normal and completely legal over there.
She gets why this girl married her dad; she does. She thinks this girl might be hoping to get citizenship where she currently lives, even though that won’t be possible because it’s illegal to be married to more than one woman.
“‘Going home on a business trip and marrying a second wife’ is the immigrant equivalent of ‘gone to get milk’ in my community,” she concluded.
Let’s call her dad exactly what he is: a predatory, narcissistic deadbeat who exploited a young woman’s poverty. It’s noble of her to want to track down this 20-year-old and warn her, but she shouldn’t waste her time.
Even if she does manage to contact her across the world, she is surrounded by her dad’s enabling relatives, and chances are good this girl will not take the word of a bitter daughter over what she thinks is her ticket out of poverty.
The best thing she can do is just cut contact with her dad (since I’m failing to see what good he adds to her life) while providing her mom with support.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
