Emily Chan
It’s not uncommon for parents to worry about how their parenting is impacting their little ones. There’s always that underlying fear of failing to live up to society’s parenting expectations or even the standards you set for yourself.
On top of that, you have to make sure you’re not following in the footsteps of your own parents, particularly if you grew up experiencing some unhealthy dynamics.
That brings us to the latest trending parenting topic on TikTok: eggshell parenting. An eggshell parent is a term used to describe a parent with unstable moods and unpredictable behaviors, which cause their children to walk on eggshells around them to avoid setting them off.
This type of parenting is characterized by frequent emotional outbursts and intense mood swings that are very inconsistent. Children never know when their parents might blow up at them.
As a result, they will become hypervigilant in order to protect themselves from the eruptions, staying stuck in fight or flight mode throughout their childhood and even in relationships they have in the future. They’re always on the lookout for any signs of impending danger.
Of course, all parents yell from time to time. It’s normal to get frustrated or upset, but with eggshell parenting, it’s a daily event. The child will often feel responsible for the emotional reaction, causing them to blame themselves and experience shame.
Non-eggshell parents might feel guilty about snapping at their children and can apologize for their behavior afterward. On the other hand, eggshell parents think that their actions were justified, and they don’t try to make amends.
Here is an example of eggshell parenting: a child comes home from school and tells their parent the score they got on a test. The parent congratulates them, but a few hours later, they will criticize the child for not getting a better grade.
Threats are also common with eggshell parenting. A parent may threaten to kick their child out of the house or stop providing them with basic necessities to prevent the child from doing something they disapprove of, such as getting a shorter haircut.
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