He’s Taking His Daughter On A Christmas Trip, But His Ex Also Wants Him To Bring Her Two Other Toddlers, Who Have Different Dads
This 40-year-old man and his ex-girlfriend, Amy, 39, have a 14-year-old daughter named Claire. Not long after Claire was born, he and Amy ended their relationship because Amy felt suffocated and trapped, as if they rushed into starting a family together.
Ever since the breakup, they have had a 50/50 custody agreement. Five years ago, he married his wife, Jane, 35.
Amy, on the other hand, ended up having two more children with two different guys, neither of whom was present in the children’s lives. Her two sons are 2 and 4-years-old.
So, Amy is now a single mother with full-time custody of two children and half-custody of Claire.
Unfortunately, Claire isn’t a fan of the cramped space she has to share with her half-brothers. She’s obviously significantly older than them, and since her brothers are toddlers, the house gets pretty chaotic.
Plus, since Claire is a teenager, she craves having privacy and time to herself, which she doesn’t have at Amy’s house. Because of this, she much prefers when she gets to stay at his house.
“Claire asked me if she could spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with Jane and me. Our regular schedule was that Claire spends Christmas Eve with us and Christmas Day with the other, and then we switch it around the next year,” he said.
In response, he explained to Claire that he would have to talk it over with Amy before giving her an answer. Before he was able to reach out to Amy, Claire got to her first and asked about the idea.
Afterward, Amy called him and said that she was fine with Claire spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with him and Jane, adding that she was super busy, so this would make things less stressful for her.
Dene’ Miles – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
He was really looking forward to this new plan, and Jane was, too. In order to take advantage of their quality time together, Jane brought up the option of taking a holiday trip.
They settled on traveling to another city and staying at a beach resort. As soon as they came up with this plan, he called Amy to give her an update, and at first, she was fine with Claire going along on this trip.
“She called me back two days later, asking if there was any chance that I could cancel the beach trip and do something in our city and also include her sons so that she could go and see her family this Christmas,” he explained.
“She said that her sons don’t have passports, so she can’t take them to another country with her to visit her family.”
During the conversation, Amy also told him that since she has such a hectic work schedule, she never has time to go see her family, so the holidays would be the only opportunity she has to do so.
In response, he told her that he hardly knew her two sons, so, in his view, it would feel weird to be expected to care for them for several days while she was away visiting her family.
He was hoping to be able to have a relaxing trip with Jane and Claire, and the thought of watching two children that he was barely acquainted with didn’t sound like a fun way to spend Christmas.
This would be a ton of work and insanely stressful, considering the fact that he hasn’t looked after a toddler in roughly ten years.
In addition, he’d already let Claire know about the plan to go to the beach, and she was thrilled about this. The only way he was willing to cancel the trip would be if it was an emergency.
He knew that Claire wouldn’t be too enthused about the idea of canceling their beach trip and being around her half-brothers for Christmas since she had already vented to him about how she doesn’t enjoy being around them when she stays with Amy.
Keeping all of this in mind, he explained to Amy that he didn’t feel comfortable looking after two toddlers he didn’t know well, and he wanted to have a relaxed holiday this year, but he made sure to leave out what Claire had expressed about not wanting to be around her half-brothers.
“Amy said I’m doing this to punish her for leaving me and that I could easily take care of her sons, but I’m being spiteful. I told her to stop being ridiculous. We broke up 14 years ago, and I found the love of my life after that. There’s no reason on Earth for me to be spiteful,” he shared.
He apologized for refusing to cancel his trip so that he could watch her sons, but he said he wanted to spend the holidays focused only on his own family.
Amy retorted that she hadn’t realized he would be the kind of person to ostracize her sons due to his bitterness. She then said that she was saddened to see how he’s changed.
Over the 14 years since their relationship ended, they’ve never had a fight anywhere near as terrible as this.
He’s not used to hearing Amy say things like this, so despite acknowledging that he thinks it’s unfair that she would assume he’d be comfortable watching her sons while she takes a trip, he’s concerned about jeopardizing their co-parenting dynamic.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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