His Sister Said She’s Disgusted That He And His Wife Are Choosing IVF Over Adopting
When a couple tries to have a baby and start a family, you can never know exactly what they’re going through to make it happen. Having a baby can be really challenging, and you shouldn’t criticize people for the way they try to start a family.
One man recently had an outburst over his sister, who has been judging him and his wife non-stop for having to try a baby through IVF instead of adopting.
He’s 27 and married to his wife, Ever, who was adopted by her parents when she was little. They’re ready to start a family but have been told by their fertility doctor that they can’t have kids naturally, so using IVF would be the best way to go. For some time now, they’ve been working hard and pushing through the challenges of IVF to have a baby.
His family’s been made aware of him and Ever’s IVF journey, but unfortunately, his 43-year-old sister Jane has not been supportive.
“My sister Jane has been vocally outspoken about her disgust at our decision,” he said.
“She told us that [with] Ever being adopted, she should be thinking of adoption before any form of fertility treatment. She has ranted about how IVF is unethical.”
Jane has told him and Ever that IVF will mess up their future kids. However, she seems to have forgotten that she decided to adopt her kids because, while she was starting her family, she was told by her doctors that IVF wouldn’t work for her.
He tried telling Jane to keep her comments to herself several times, but she wouldn’t stop pestering him and Ever. Eventually, Ever decided to be very vulnerable with Jane and explained why she didn’t want to adopt.
“She told Jane that adoption is not always an ethical option, and while it can be such an amazing thing and bring so much joy to everyone, adoption is nowhere close to perfect,” he recalled.
NDABCREATIVITY – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
“She also opened up about feeling on the outside her whole life because she looked like nobody [in] her family.”
Ever continued to tell Jane that she struggled as an adopted child growing up and is still shaken from when she tried reaching out to her birth parents, and they rejected her.
She explained that because of her personal trauma as an adopted child, she didn’t want to adopt herself and would rather try having her own children.
Unfortunately, Jane didn’t empathize with her; instead, she called Ever names and told her she should be ashamed of herself. Ever was very upset and told him about what happened.
A few days later, he got a call from Jane, who told him he should tell Ever to “fix her thinking.”
“I told Jane that she was the biggest hypocrite because she only adopted her kids as a last resort after being told again and again that IUI and IVF would not work for her and that surrogacy wouldn’t either,” he explained.
“I told her we never judged her for how she started her family, but I did judge her for having gone through all that and being so hard on Ever.”
This caused a big argument between him and Jane, who accused him of throwing her infertility in her face.
Should he feel bad for calling Jane a hypocrite, or was he right to tell her off?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
More About:Relationships