She And Her Husband Wouldn’t Let Her Sister-In-Law Bring Her New Boyfriend To Their Wedding Dinner, And Now Her Sister-In-Law Hasn’t Spoken To Her Husband In Four Months
Not long ago, this 31-year-old woman and her husband, 33, got married after dating for two and a half years.
Their ceremony was held at the courthouse, with only their two best friends as the witnesses.
They loved having a small ceremony, and it felt very romantic. Prior to the wedding, she and her husband let their families know what their plan was, adding that they would be paying to host a dinner in celebration of their nuptials.
Her husband’s mother expressed her disappointment, but she respected their decision. He has a huge family, which includes tons of aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and cousins. For the most part, he barely talks to or even sees the vast majority of these family members.
She is on the opposite side of the spectrum in regard to her family. She has gone no contact with all of her family members who live in the same country as she does, and she doesn’t keep in touch with the other family members who live on a different continent.
Instead, she considers her best friends like family, and she feels emotionally healthy and happy with this situation.
Right after they got married, her husband started a group chat, but he forgot to add her to it.
In the group chat, he invited his father, stepmother, mother, stepfather, and his twin older sisters, to their wedding dinner.
Everyone in the chat seemed thrilled and were all looking forward to celebrating their marriage.
olegzaicev – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Later, one of his sisters, 41, said that she would be bringing her new boyfriend, who she’d only been dating for several weeks or a couple of months, to the dinner.
While her husband was fine with this, he thought it was strange that she didn’t have the courtesy to at least ask if this would be okay with them, especially considering that she and her husband were paying for the dinner and had never met her new boyfriend.
Her husband suggested confronting his sister during the dinner at the restaurant, which she thought was a bad idea.
“I did mind; this was our dinner to celebrate with his direct family, for them. Not for her to introduce her new boyfriend officially into the fold,” she said.
In her view, it would be a different story if they had already met her sister-in-law’s boyfriend.
Once this new relationship began, her husband’s sister hasn’t been keeping in touch with the family as often as she used to.
She didn’t think that was a problem because she understood that a new relationship is thrilling, and you can become obsessed with your new partner and sometimes neglect your friendships and family members for a little while.
Plus, she doesn’t feel comfortable meeting new people, and she also gets anxious when she goes out to restaurants.
So, she felt like it would be better for her husband to reject the idea of his sister bringing her boyfriend to the wedding dinner.
Her husband wasn’t getting through to his sister, and their conversation went in circles. Since the conversation was going nowhere, she decided to reach out to her sister-in-law.
“I asked her to accept and respect our wishes to keep it small and that we’d love to meet her new boyfriend soon some other time,” she explained.
My text was kind and courteous but clear in its message. After hours, I finally got a response (mind you, this is the day after our marriage) stating that if her boyfriend couldn’t come, she wouldn’t be coming, either.”
Her sister-in-law continued, telling her that she couldn’t comprehend why she should be expected to ask for their permission to bring her boyfriend to the dinner, and she said that this dinner was the perfect time to introduce the family to her boyfriend.
She didn’t agree with her sister-in-law’s last statement in the slightest. Then, her sister-in-law told her not to text her again, that she wouldn’t text back if she did, and that it didn’t make sense for her to have even reached out in the first place because she was already having this exact same conversation with her brother.
“And she said that her brother could contact her whenever he’d ‘got his mind back’ (implying he’d lost it),” she shared.
“This message had me seething and crying at the same time. I found it to be extremely disrespectful and completely out of character for her. It wasn’t exactly the ‘welcome to the family’ I’d hoped for. Nevertheless, I did respect her request not to message her again.”
From then on, her husband continued trying to reason with his sister, to no avail. His sister was mean to him, too, and they got into an argument through text messages.
After talking in circles for a long time, her husband texted his sister to say that he would call her the following day, which was the day the dinner was to take place.
When her husband followed through with his promise to call his sister, she didn’t answer his call. He tried calling a second time, but his sister didn’t answer.
Understandably, her husband was depressed and let down because his sister wasn’t going to be attending an event that was supposed to be for the family to celebrate his marriage. The conflict with his sister dampened their happy day.
They went to the dinner without his sister, and they gave a brief explanation with very few details. All they said was that his sister wasn’t there because they couldn’t see eye-to-eye.
Even though her husband’s family was confused about this, they all still enjoyed their night. Later, she and her husband found out that his sister didn’t attend his bachelor party because her new boyfriend hadn’t been invited.
The rest of her husband’s family got wind of the conflict. She feels like her sister-in-law is being incredibly immature. Four months after the ordeal, her husband’s sister has refused to speak to him.
Many times, he’s reached out to her after she suggested it, but she never responds. He didn’t know whether texting or calling would be more effective.
Now, her husband is debating on just showing up at their mother’s house when he knows his sister will be there, so she has no choice but to talk to him in person.
She doesn’t know how her husband can resolve this situation with his sister, but she knows that she wants her sister-in-law to apologize to her.
However, her in-laws don’t think this will ever happen. In her opinion, she thinks she is owed an apology, and she doesn’t like the idea of allowing someone to get away with bad behavior without taking accountability for their actions.
She doesn’t want to have unhealthy relationships with any of her in-laws because she has cut off communication with her own toxic family members.
It would be wonderful for her husband and his sister to get back to the way they used to be.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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