“Dating Slowly” Can Ease Romantic Pressure And Prevent You From Becoming Emotionally Exhausted: Here’s How To Get Started
Have you ever gone through months of casually dating people and being incredibly disappointed when it didn’t lead to something more or feel as romantic as you would’ve liked?
While dating someone casually or “just for fun,” you can have a great time. But dating with no strings attached gets emotionally exhausting after a while, especially if you see yourself wanting to settle down with someone one day.
So, if you’re ready to take your time dating someone and want a slower dating experience, here are some tips for making that happen.
Change your mindset
Stop looking at dating as something that’s purely meant for fun and getting physical. Think about why you want to change things up and start dating, hoping you’ll slowly begin to develop a true romance with someone. Start thinking about the qualities you want in a partner and what you hope to get and give in a relationship.
You should begin seeing dates as meaningful instead of a casual thing you try to “get done” a few times a month.
Figure out what you want and make it clear
When trying to find people to date for a longer period at a slower pace, you need to make your intentions clear. For instance, if you’re using dating apps, don’t put the “Not sure what I’m looking for” or “Short-term fun” buttons on your profile. Don’t give your dates mixed signals or signs indicating you strictly want something casual.
One of the hardest parts about dating is that people are often not upfront about what they want regarding a relationship, so be the one to clarify. It’s okay to want to take your time dating someone, and anyone who isn’t okay with that isn’t the person you’ll want to date.
halayalex – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Don’t rush to conclusions
While you may be slowly dating someone to see if you could build a future with them, try not to rush into any conclusions or daydreams. For instance, many of us are guilty of planning our futures with someone we’ve only been dating for two weeks. I get it; there’s a lot of excitement in the air, especially when the dates have been going well.
But for a slow dating timeline, being too quick to imagine that one person is your happily ever after or to write them off as soon as they make a mistake will not do you any favors.
Check-in with yourself
Sometimes, I get so happy about the current state of my relationships that I forget to check in with myself and my needs. I know it’s easy to be so pleased about a relationship that you kind of forget about your responsibilities and self-care, but try not to let that happen. Stay level-headed and have a mental check-in every once in a while.
Set boundaries
Make it clear from day one what you need from your partner. Don’t let them control where you always go for dates, what times they can call you, when they can see you, etc. When slowly dating someone, you want to see how well you can work as a team and build a relationship while balancing your careers and social lives.
Don’t rush
This tip may seem obvious, but it’s important. Don’t rush things! You don’t have to spend the night with them right away or even take them to your home. Go on as many dates as it takes until you can know whether there’s something there. You don’t have to make any major decisions early on.
If you’re in the middle of slowly dating someone, hang in there and have fun! It takes time to truly get to know someone, and if things don’t work out, you’ll know you tried your best.
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