Her Boyfriend Insulted Her Decor And Wants Her To Throw Everything Out, So She’s No Longer Moving In With Him
For two years now, this 25-year-old woman has been dating her 27-year-old boyfriend, Alan. They recently came to the conclusion that it would be best for them to live together when their respective leases were up.
Alan’s lease will end in three months, and hers is ending in a week. She and Alan found a new place to move into, and she’s supposed to be living there on the final day of her apartment lease.
She and Alan agreed to split all the fees and the deposit cost on their new place, and she would pay all of the rent alone until he moves in; that way, Alan won’t be responsible for two rents.
After Alan moves in, their agreement is to split the rent and bills 70/30, where she’s paying the majority, as she makes more money than Alan does, and she wants things to be fair.
Last night, while she and Alan were eating their dinner, she said they needed to pick out what pieces of furniture they were each keeping or tossing.
She figured she would move all of her things into the new apartment, and then in three months, when Alan moves in too, they could spend that time planning out how to mix their opposite styles of decorating. But, she thought it would be helpful to know what big items Alan wanted to bring beforehand.
Alan looked confused and stated he thought she was going to be throwing out the majority of her furniture and decor.
Alan followed up by saying she can’t honestly think he wants to live in a place that’s decorated in the style of her current apartment.
She was super offended by his tone of voice, even though she is aware most people don’t love how she decorates and it’s hardly everyone’s cup of tea.
Photographee.eu – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only
She reiterated to Alan that she was trying to have this specific conversation with him because she doesn’t want their new place to only reflect her style.
Alan let out a sigh and informed her that no man would ever want to live somewhere that houses all of her things before pointing out that she’s lucky he stayed over at her place so much without issuing complaints about her style.
“For context, my decor is what one of my friends likes to call “Barbie meets Goth” and another calls “neon fairy obsessed with death,” she explained.
“There’s a lot of bright colors like pink, green, and blue (mostly pink) and morbid decor. Some examples include the Halloween skull bowl I painted hot pink and glued rhinestones to that held snacks and candy in the kitchen.”
“My collection of stuffed animals and squishmallows that sat on a large lime green cabinet that holds my movies and games, arranged around a small (not functional) guillotine where they were in the middle of carrying out the punishment of Mr Sherbert Puke. He is a teddy bear I got as a child that is colored in a pastel rainbow color that reminded me of the time I ate too much Sherbert and threw up on my babysitter, and I refuse to change his name in his old age. His crimes are many, and the people (the other stuffies) are going French revolution on him.”
As for her yellow, pink, and blue bathroom, the theme surrounds mushrooms. Her walls, towels, shower curtain, bathmat, toothbrush holder, and trash can all look like mushrooms or have a mushroom pattern.
There’s a pink couch and a teal coffee table sitting in her living room, accompanied by a grey TV stand with an eye-catching blue floral print on the cabinets and shelves.
She knows not everyone is in love with her decorating, but it never once occurred to her that Alan had an issue with this.
In fact, the very first time he even came over to her apartment, he remarked that her style clearly fit her kind of personality.
Any time she brought home new furniture or anything decor-related, Alan would dish out compliments.
“I know that doesn’t mean he necessarily wanted to live in an apartment full of this stuff, but I never thought he disliked it all enough to claim I was “lucky” he put up with it when he stayed over,” she said.
“I grew up in a house where everything was gray, brown, or white, and that kind of aesthetic bores me personally. So I love having fun, colorful things filling my home. I was more than prepared to make sacrifices to my style in order to live with my boyfriend (aside from the guillotine because that thing took me forever to make).”
She came up with several compromises for Alan, and none of them he liked. He basically expects her to toss all of her furniture in the trash.
He also had an insult for nearly everything, calling her lime-colored cabinet “ugly” and her couch “girly” and other things “weird,” “creepy,” or “childish.”
She spent an entire hour trying to reason with Alan before questioning him about whether he wanted her to trash all of her belongings. Alan simply said he loved her clothes, but that was it.
She was upset, especially considering Alan wasn’t going to throw out a single thing he owned. Then Alan said this was a necessary sacrifice for their relationship.
She ended up laughing in Alan’s face when he told her she should be thrilled about his style of decor, as he lacked anything strange or odd.
“…I told him he had the most basic guy style I’d ever seen, and if most of his furniture wasn’t black, I’d call him a sad beige mom,” she continued.
“Alan was [angry] and said that I’m an adult and need to start acting like it instead of decorating like a “little girl.” I asked him why he’s with me if my style is so offensive to him when he’s the one who said it matched my personality. His response was, “You’re a fun and quirky person, but that doesn’t mean you should be decorating like a three-year-old. How am I supposed to bring my friends over and not be embarrassed?”
“So I told him that until he apologizes for insulting me and my style and agrees to let me keep at least half of my things, he won’t be moving in. My name is currently the only one on the lease, and I’m the only one who can afford the apartment by myself, so I won’t be adding him to the lease unless I believe he’s truly sorry for what he said. I’m not going to live with someone who is embarrassed [by] something as important to me as my personal style.”
“I think he’s bought into the nonsense about pink being too feminine and doesn’t want to let me keep my decor because his friends will make “jokes” about him “letting” me take over or being whipped or something. How do I get him to compromise?”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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