Two years ago, this man was in a relationship with Kate, and their relationship ended on bad terms when he discovered that she was unfaithful.
Leading up to this discovery, he noticed Kate pulling away and distancing herself. She was also on her phone all the time. Eventually, he saw that she was sending steamy photos to another man using a fake name.
“When I confronted her and asked her why, she brushed it off with, ‘Since you know, it doesn’t matter now’ before walking away,” he said.
Understandably, this breakup was painful and took a while to heal from. Not long ago, he learned that his cousin, Tony, proposed to Kate. He and Tony don’t have a close bond, but they sometimes reach out and catch up.
Before this news, he’d been aware that Tony was in a relationship, but he had no idea he was dating Kate until he heard they were engaged.
After Tony and Kate announced their engagement, Tony contacted him to request him to be their wedding photographer. He realized that Kate must have only recently discovered that he and Tony were related.
“She sent me a text, pleading with me to let go of the past and not tell Tony about our history. According to her, revealing the truth would ruin Tony’s life,” he explained.
Before her text, he hadn’t planned on telling Tony about Kate’s cheating behavior, but the text she sent him was weird.
He’s in a relationship right now, and when he told his girlfriend and sister that Tony is engaged to Kate, they advised that he tell Tony what happened when he dated Kate.
In their view, Tony needs to have all the information before marrying Kate, and they don’t think it would be fair if these critical details were hidden from him, especially since he’s Tony’s cousin and Tony is about to marry his ex-girlfriend.
But since he and Kate broke up two years ago and he’s healed from the breakup, he doesn’t want to dig up confrontations from so long ago.
“Plus, there’s the fear of backlash– what if Tony doesn’t believe me? What if he blames me for ruining his happiness?” he wondered.
Tony is a sweet, compassionate person, and he would never tell him about Kate’s past infidelity to devastate him. If he did tell him, it would only be to give him all the facts ahead of one of the biggest decisions of his life.
While thinking it over, he’s also concerned about how his other family members would feel if he told Tony the truth.
His mother has a close bond with Tony’s mother (his aunt), so he would hate for there to be tension in their friendship as a result of his being honest with Tony.
At the same time, he knew that if the roles were reversed, he’d rather know the truth about his future wife.
It wouldn’t feel right for Tony to marry Kate without having any idea she’d cheated in a past relationship, and it would be even worse if Kate did the same thing to Tony in the future and he kept the information from him. Even though he doesn’t think Kate’s a good person, Tony deeply loves her.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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