He Won’t Pay For His Daughter-In-Law To Go On His Family’s Vacation Because She Didn’t Take His Son’s Last Name
If you’re married or have been married, have you ever felt like one of your in-laws judged you or didn’t accept you for petty reasons?
What if that reason was because you decided not to take your husband’s last name?
One man recently decided that because his daughter-in-law didn’t take his last name and chose not to include a few traditions in her and his son’s wedding, he would not pay for her to join them on their family vacation.
He’s 60 and the father of three adult children. One of them is his 28-year-old son, who recently married his 27-year-old daughter-in-law, Bee.
Bee is a headstrong woman and looks at certain traditions differently than he and his family.
“During their wedding planning six months ago, Bee made it clear she values her independence and feminism, opting not to take our family’s last name to maintain her identity,” he explained.
“I respect her decision despite our family tradition favoring surname sharing. I genuinely appreciate Bee; she’s a wonderful partner for my son, albeit sometimes her strong opinions and idealistic views seem to overlook her privilege.”
Although he funded his son and Bee’s wedding, she still opted not to do a few traditional things that he would’ve liked to have happened during the ceremony. For instance, Bee chose not to have any flower girls, didn’t want to be walked down the aisle by her father, and decided there shouldn’t be a mother-groom dance, which upset his wife.
But the real kicker was still when Bee didn’t want to take their family’s last name.
pololia – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Now, he’s in the process of planning one of their big family vacations, which they haven’t been able to do since the pandemic. During their vacations, his family puts a lot of emphasis on quality time and family activities.
This year, they plan to take a relaxing trip to the Maldives. Every year in the past, he and his wife paid for every single family member’s travel expenses.
However, due to recent events, he feels there’s one person he shouldn’t have to pay for.
“I’ve considered stating that I’ll only cover expenses for those bearing our last name,” he said.
“After Bee’s continuous emphasis on independence and breaking from tradition, I felt this was a reasonable stance. I was discussing this with my son, who asked if I could cover their expenses this time. I thought about it and decided not to. I declined. My rationale is that Bee’s firm stance on independence should extend to navigating the repercussions of their decisions, financial ones included.”
Since talking to his son and wife about his plan, they’ve been upset with him. His son is disappointed in him, and his wife thinks he’s being too rigid, as Bee is still a member of their family, and family is more important than proving a point.
Now, he’s torn about whether he should stick with his plan and let Bee be responsible for her vacation costs or cover them for her like the rest of the family.
Is he being too crude by threatening not to pay for Bee?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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