If You’ve Been Betrayed By A Cheater, Here’s How To Reclaim Your Life And Heal From The Heartbreak Of Infidelity
One of the hardest breakups you can experience is a breakup that happened because your partner was cheating on you or having an affair.
Whether your partner was in a long-term relationship when they started dating you, or you found out they were dating someone else while you’ve been with them for a long time, it’s an extremely painful thing to go through.
When you find out your partner’s been having an affair, it may feel like your whole world is caving in, especially if they were someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with.
Of course, if you find out your partner had an affair, you are allowed to feel upset. It’s absolutely devastating and makes you question everything not only related to your relationship but to yourself as well.
You should be able to take the time you need to mourn your relationships and the dreams or hopes you had for them. Feel everything you need to feel. However, there will come a time when you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move forward.
After all, if you stay down after getting cheated on and let this event destroy you, that’s like letting your unfaithful partner win.
Here are some tips for recovering from this kind of relationship trauma and healing from heartbreak after getting cheated on.
Stop blaming yourself
My heart aches when I see women start blaming themselves for their partner’s infidelity or start looking for what they may have done wrong that would make their partner want to cheat on them. Some people with old-fashioned views may try to make you believe it was your fault your partner went elsewhere, but it’s not.
paultarasenko – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
You cannot blame yourself for your partner’s affair. If your partner were a well-rounded, mature, good person, they would’ve broken up with you or communicated with you whenever you did something they didn’t like. They had an affair because they were selfish or too cowardly to break things off with you, and that’s something to be ashamed of. It’s on them, not you.
Stop replaying the past
Some people tend to get stuck in the past after getting cheated on, analyzing every phase of their relationship and trying to pinpoint when something went wrong. Honestly, doing this will only stress you out further and can lead you to spiral. Stop looking to the past and start moving forward. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to go back in time.
Meditate on what you want
After finding out your partner had an affair, you may enter a period where you and your partner are trying to figure out your next moves.
Either they break up with you and stay with the person they’ve had an affair with, they end their affair and try to make things work with you, or each relationship ends, and everyone looks for a fresh start.
During this time, it’s important not to act on impulse. I know that’s easier said than done, but try getting some space and spending a few days or weeks alone to decide what you really want your next move to be. Do you want to try and fix things with your partner, or do you want to end your relationship for good?
Talk to someone
Finding out your partner’s been having an affair is an extremely isolating experience. Therefore, it’s imperative that you talk to someone you trust and gain support.
Talk to your closest family and friends, and consider seeking mental health advice from a counselor. Trying to get through this trauma alone is very difficult, so don’t be afraid to lean on people. That’s what loved ones are for!
If you’ve recently found out the heartbreaking news that your partner’s been unfaithful, my heart goes out to you. Take the time you need to heal, and remember to pick yourself back up!
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