Abby Connolly
I don’t know about you, but it takes me a handful of dates before I feel like I can finally loosen up around a guy.
No matter how nice, charming, and personable the guy is, it takes me a while before I feel like I can be my authentic self. Sometimes, I don’t know if it’s anxiety, defensiveness, or if it’s simply human nature that makes me do this, but not being able to feel like you can truly settle down in front of someone can be exhausting.
So often, we force ourselves to stay ‘on’ during dates, putting up a guard and putting on a persona that isn’t our truly relaxed form.
Then, when things go wrong, and we don’t hear from a guy, or he makes it clear he doesn’t want to keep dating us, we start to blame ourselves and find ways to pick apart our dating persona.
My heart aches whenever I see my girlfriends pick themselves apart because things didn’t work out with a guy, and I often have to stop myself from doing the same thing.
But then, I’m reminded of the one piece of dating and relationship advice that I truly believe will always make sense.
If a guy really loves you, you shouldn’t be afraid to be anything but your true, authentic self.
Think about all the people you truly love and who love you, like your mom or best friend. Do you have to put on an act for them? Do you have to constantly watch what you say or what you do in front of them?
The answer is likely no.
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