She’s Now Seeing A Therapist Since Her In-Laws Are Making Her Feel Like Her First Pregnancy Isn’t Important Or Special Just Because Her Husband Already Has Two Other Kids From His Previous Marriage
There are people out there who go above and beyond trying to be a good stepparent when they marry someone with children. However, no matter how hard you try, the experience will still likely have some challenges.
One woman has been upset with her husband’s side of the family, who isn’t taking her pregnancy very seriously as he already has two children from a previous marriage. Their behavior had gotten so bad that she had to start therapy.
She’s 30 and married her 32-year-old husband, James, four years ago. James has two children from a previous marriage: a ten-year-old son and a nine-year-old daughter. Ever since she married James, she’s worked hard not to be an overbearing stepmother.
“I see my role as being an additional adult in their lives who contributes to their security, but I don’t believe I am an equal parent,” she said.
“They don’t see me that way, and that is totally fine. I dated James knowing he had children, and I always wanted to be one of the stepparents who the kids were glad to have in their lives, not the ones [they] tolerated for the sake of their parent.”
She and James are expecting their first child together, and she’s a first-time mom.
Unfortunately, James’ family has been reacting strangely to her pregnancy. They talk about the new baby and her pregnancy as if she was the one who gave birth to James’ other kids. For instance, instead of treating this child like her first baby, they refer to it as her third.
Every experience she’s had with this pregnancy has been compared to her stepchildren by her husband’s family. When she got bad morning sickness, her in-laws commented that the “other two” weren’t bad. When they found out the gender of their new baby, her in-laws talked about how “they” waited to find out the gender of the other two kids.
“My husband told them it wasn’t like I was involved in either of those pregnancies, but it went over their heads,” she explained.
VikaNorm – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“My sisters suggested throwing me a baby shower, and my mother-in-law [mentioned] that you only have a baby shower with your first and how inappropriate one for the third [would] be. She said people would judge [that decision] harshly.”
“This has weighed on me. It makes me feel jealous, which is new, and I wallowed for a while in how unfair it is that my husband went through this twice before, and it means his family expects me to give up first-time experiences like a baby shower.”
Because of her in-law’s behavior, she was worried about the effect it would have on her mental health, so she decided to start seeing a therapist.
While James sympathized with her, she felt he couldn’t fully understand what she was going through.
She had hoped to keep her therapy experience on the down low, but after her in-laws made a few more inappropriate comments about her pregnancy in front of James, he snapped at them and told his parents that their remarks had put her in therapy.
“This started an argument between him, his mom, and his brother, and then my husband’s family claimed I was weaponizing therapy and overreacting to a situation I signed up for,” she added.
Did she do anything wrong, or does her husband’s family owe her an apology?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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