This 25-year-old guy has known his 23-year-old girlfriend for the last six years, but they only started dating four years ago.
A little over two years ago, his girlfriend began to feel sick, and none of the doctors she saw could figure out why.
A lot of her symptoms suggested an autoimmune disease with no cure or treatment, and she has just grown more ill as time has gone by without an official diagnosis.
“She was optimistic at first, but more and more problems and challenges started (understandably) wearing her out,” he explained. “She is depressed and has been in a psychiatric clinic before…”
He and his girlfriend live together right now, and he’s finishing up his graduate degree. He has a part-time student job, but he doesn’t earn much money so far.
He’s grateful that his family helps to support him, and his girlfriend’s family essentially supports her.
His girlfriend can’t handle studying due to her health issues, and she dropped out of college after completing four semesters. His girlfriend is home all day since she doesn’t have a job or school to occupy her time.
“Sometimes we have happy moments, but 90% of the time is either her suffering all day and me trying to be there for her after university or my job, or us fighting because we are both constantly on edge from our everyday life,” he said.
“In the last months, I have noticed that I try to spend as much time as possible away from home. I try to work as much as possible, go to the gym for hours, or study outside. I am thankful for every minute of relief that I feel not being around her.”
“I know that sounds awful. I look at her and I see the beautiful woman I fell in love with, and I see the memories we made, and I am holding on to the hope that one day I will be able to experience this again. But in reality, there’s not much left of the girl I used to know. There’s not much left of who I used to be.”
He’s depressed at this rate and excruciatingly lonely on top of it. He’s going to therapy, but he doesn’t see a way out of this.
He loves his girlfriend, but her chronic illness is too much of a burden for him to keep bearing. And the love he has for her isn’t all that reassuring, as he still feels trapped in their relationship.
He’s terrified to dump her since he has spent years picturing a future that includes his girlfriend. They discussed having kids one day and purchasing a home in the country.
“I can’t imagine not having her by my side,” he continued. “I also know it would break her. She doesn’t have anyone; she only trusts me, and I know she loves me a lot.”
“So…can I imagine leaving her? No. But the thought that scares me even more…is not breaking up. Living together for the rest of our lives. Never being able to feel peace in my home anymore. Having to emotionally be there for someone with no room for myself.”
“I never told her she is a burden. She is suffering so much, and then I should be complaining, the “healthy” one? That’s not fair. I‘m just at a loss for what I can do without losing my sanity.”
What advice do you have for him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
