Some parents don’t just ruin their own lives with their poor choices; they drag everyone else into the ugly aftermath. Her dad didn’t want forgiveness when he betrayed her mom; he wanted a do-over.
Now, years later, he’s still clinging to that lie that they can all come together and pretend to be a family. But the reality is her mom is dying, and there’s no time left to pretend.
This woman’s dad cheated on her mom, and her 11-year-old half-sister is the product of that affair. As soon as her mom discovered her dad’s infidelity, she left him and got a divorce.
This time in her life was extremely hard, since her dad used her as a pawn to try to win her mom back and convince her mom to raise her half-sister alongside her.
Her dad planned on forcing her mom to play along like they were an amazing, happy family. But her dad got stuck raising his affair child alone since her mom was not interested in helping him out.
“From the time she could talk, my dad was telling my half-sister my mom was hers. He had her calling mom mama when she was learning how to talk, he’d talk about her like she was OUR mom and not mine,” she explained.
“Dad would punish me for telling him to stop. He told me she was my sister, and I loved her, so I should want Mom to love her too.”
“And then we’d fight because I told him I didn’t love her, and he was making things so much harder for me. I hated being at Dad’s house because of his obsession with Mom being my half sister’s mom.”
As her half-sister grew older and expected her mom to show her love, everything got so much harder. Her mom continuously freaked out on her dad for not making it clear to her half-sister that she was not her parent.
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Her mom found her half-sister repulsive and did not want this little girl referring to her as her mom.
Luckily, her mom won primary custody of her, so she hardly saw her dad after that. Her half-sister was evidently puzzled over how little time she was spending in their lives, but she didn’t care.
She never viewed her half-sister as a true sibling, nor did she think her mom was at fault for wanting to keep this kid far, far away from them. Her mom ensured that she didn’t have to really see her dad or half-sister.
Two years ago, her dad landed in the hospital for more than a month, and her half-sister was sent to foster care. Her dad pleaded with her mom to take her half-sister in, and her mom told her dad to take a hike.
“My half-sister didn’t understand why she wasn’t with me and Mom when Dad was sick. It was a whole thing, and Dad tried to make me responsible for my half-sister, but I refused to be,” she added.
“Dad’s health has never fully recovered, and I refused to help, and so did my mom. Now she’s terminally ill and spending her last weeks in the hospital, which is already freaking hard. But my dad told my half-sister she could visit, but Mom and I made sure they could get nowhere near Mom.”
“But that hasn’t stopped Dad from showing up with my half sister and her getting upset because she knows Mom’s dying. Mom wouldn’t even know now, but I refuse to disrespect her like that. So I warned dad a couple of days ago that he’ll lose her like he lost me if he doesn’t find a way to tell her the truth and explain why she can’t see mom. He asked me why I have to be so hateful to her and why I couldn’t allow her this one small thing.”
Her dad reminded her that he’s still sick too and very well could die before her mom does, or he may last another year. He said she should want her half-sister to be treated better.
Her dad then wanted to know what would happen to her half-sister when he’s no longer around, but she responded that her mom is the only person she’s worried about, and he needs to step up.
Her dad called her evil and insisted her half-sister is blameless in this mess. Oh, and her dad keeps on dragging her half-sister to the hospital, hoping she will change her mind about allowing the little girl to say goodbye to her mom.
She’s left wondering if she’s wrong to refuse to allow her dad and half-sister to see her mom on her deathbed.
I think her dad is totally psychotic for spending the last eleven years hoping her mom will come to view his affair child as part of their family.
He’s delusional and manipulative, too, and it’s not her job to facilitate her dad’s desire to sell her half-sister a bunch of lies.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
