She Told A Girl To Lower Her Expectations Or Make Improvements To Herself If She Wants To Find A Man, And It Did Not Go Over Well
This young woman has a 26-year-old acquaintance named Lola. Lola is single and has spent an extremely long amount of time trying to find herself a man, and it’s not working out for her.
Lola is on every single dating app out there, and she dresses in white anytime that they go out in order to try to “manifest” a husband for herself.
She never hangs out with Lola alone for the aforementioned reasons, but Lola is good friends with a couple of her close friends, so they frequently hang out in a group.
“When we hang out, she constantly complains about her dating life,” she explained. “Even if we’re talking about something completely different, she finds some way to make the conversation about her boy troubles.”
“Though I avoid direct conversation with her about this and leave it to others to validate her, it has become abundantly clear why she cannot bag a man. Lola has a long list of demands, most of which she does not meet.”
“She wants someone who is ambitious in his career and makes six figures (she works part-time and lives with her parents, and doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to move out). He needs to go to the gym regularly and take care of his body (Lola is overweight and hates exercise). He needs to play an instrument and be into music (Lola says she has never picked up an instrument in her life). He has to be over six foot two (Lola is five foot two).”
Lola also complains about how every time they go out, no guys even try to talk to her, but this is false.
She has watched with her own eyes as guys ask Lola to dance or offer to buy her a drink, but Lola turns them all down.
Normally, she does not say a word when Lola goes on a dating tirade, but several days ago, they were all having brunch when Lola actually asked her to give her advice.
Andrey_Arkusha – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She is engaged to a man named Jim, who is athletic, tall, gifted, and ambitious. Lola asked her how she found Jim in the first place.
She very kindly said that men tend to pick women who are similar to them. She and Jim hit the gym together every single day, they are committed to their careers, and they share interests and hobbies, so they never run out of things to talk about.
“I told her that if she wants to find a man like that, she should consider applying herself more in her job, going to the gym, and picking up a hobby she wants her partner to have,” she said.
“Otherwise, she could either date a guy that is interested in her as she is or be comfortable with being single. I thought I was being very polite, but this completely killed the mood. Lola got really upset and accused me of fat-shaming her (even though I never said anything about losing weight–just going to the gym because she wants her partner to go to the gym).”
“One of my friends told me Lola is worthy and deserving of a great guy and doesn’t need to change herself. I effectively ended the brunch with what I thought was helpful advice. Afterward, I got some texts from friends demanding I apologize to Lola, but others supported me and told me that I was right and Lola was way too sensitive.”
“I was trying to help, but would it have been better if I just lied? Was that an inappropriate thing to say in that setting? Was it [a jerk] move for me to give that advice?”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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