She Just Finished Dental School, And Her Husband Now Wants Her To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom For Their Future Kids, But She Didn’t Spend Eight Years In School Not To Use Her Degree
This 26-year-old woman has spent eight years of her life attending dental school in order to have the career of her dreams. Yet, now that she is finally finished, her 28-year-old husband expects her to be a stay-at-home mom.
For some context, they first met as teenagers and have been married for five years. They’ve also discussed starting a family together on multiple occasions, as well as how childcare would work for their future family.
During these conversations, she and her husband both agreed on sending their kids to daycare once they reached 2 years old and private school thereafter.
“I’ve expressed that though I think stay-at-home moms are literal superheroes, it’s not something that I’m interested in,” she recalled.
“I’m a very career-driven woman, and the thought of taking care of four (yes, we want 4) kids all day, every day, with literally no break and not being financially independent does not sound appealing to me.”
She’d even told her husband that he was welcome to become a stay-at-home dad if he wanted, and she thought they were on the same page. They’d had this discussion years ago, and she believed that was the end of it.
However, after she graduated from dental school around a year ago, things changed. First, she got a job working at her dream office, and she is over the moon. She’d fantasized about this ever since she was a young girl, and she’d put so much effort into achieving her goal.
This also means that she and her husband are currently ready to start trying for their very first baby. Yet, before that could happen, her husband brought up childcare again.
Out of the blue, he asked if she would be “okay” with quitting her job. She was genuinely confused and figured he was referencing maternity leave.
PeopleVideos – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“No, babe, you don’t quit your job for that. You just take leave for a few months,” she responded.
Unfortunately, that’s not what her husband meant at all. Rather, he doubled down, claiming he was talking about her staying home with their future children, and when she literally laughed out loud, he went off.
Her husband stated that their kids would need a “present mom” in their lives. She immediately corrected him on that and pointed out how working moms can also be present moms. Plus, she made it clear that she had no intention of becoming a stay-at-home mom.
“I said I didn’t go through eight years of school to just never use my degree. Besides, it doesn’t even make sense for me to quit my job when I make over double his salary,” she reasoned.
Well, her husband disagrees and has been furious with her. He actually thinks she will be a bad wife and a bad mother if she doesn’t quit to be home and “fully present” with their baby.
In the wake of his reaction, she is starting to question herself, too. After all, she grew up with her mom at home, and she absolutely adored it. She realizes that she doesn’t have any experience in knowing what it’s really like to have a working mom.
“I still don’t think working as a mom will make me a bad one or a bad wife. Honestly, I can’t help but think it’s because now that I’m out of school, I make so much more than him, and it may have caused an insecurity. I don’t know,” she vented.
Regardless, with her and her husband at an impasse, she can’t help but wonder if she’s in the wrong here.
Why do you think her husband suddenly glossed over their past talks and expected her to stay home? Is that fair to her? What should she do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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