She’s Expected To Throw Her Friend A Bridal Shower And A Bachelorette Weekend, Even Though She’s Not Actually Invited To Her Friend’s Wedding

Andreshkova Nastya - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Andreshkova Nastya - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

This 27-year-old woman has a best friend named Jane, who’s 28 and recently got engaged.

She and Jane have been tight ever since they met back in college, and like many girls, they would discuss their future nuptials together.

During those conversations, Jane always claimed that she wanted to have a destination wedding. Plus, her friend hoped she and the rest of their closest friends would be bridesmaids.

So, when Jane accepted her 29-year-old fiancé Brad’s proposal about a month ago, she didn’t expect anything to change.

“When I saw Jane and Brad the day they got engaged, one of the first things Jane said to me was how excited she was for me and our other friend to be her bridesmaids,” she recalled.

But, in the time since then, that plan has apparently gone out the window.

Once Jane and Brad actually began wedding planning, they opted to have a tiny destination wedding in Colorado instead. Additionally, they only intended to invite immediate family in order to save some money.

“They also plan on having a casual party for all the rest of their family and friends after, but there will be no ceremony or sit-down dinner and will be very clearly NOT a second wedding,” she added.

She was honestly quite hurt and disappointed upon finding out she wasn’t invited to Jane’s actual big day. Still, she understood that the happy couple could throw whatever kind of event they wanted.

Andreshkova Nastya – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

What really got under her skin, though, was the fact that Jane still expected the full bridal treatment – despite having none of her best friends as bridesmaids.

More specifically, Jane wanted a bridal shower, an extended weekend trip to a costly destination for a bachelorette party, and a wedding gift registry.

“I find it a bit ridiculous that she still expects to have these things thrown by and (presumably) paid for by people who aren’t even invited to the actual wedding!” she admitted.

To make matters worse, Jane has insisted on continuing to call her and the rest of their friends “bridesmaids.” However, since none of them will be present at the ceremony, she doesn’t understand how they really are.

She’s not the only one who feels this way, either. In fact, her friend group is pretty split on the situation.

Some people believe that Jane needs to be confronted regarding her expectations, while others think that would be a jerky move.

Now, she wants to be honest with Jane and tell her that she cannot expect “traditional wedding benefits” if she’s not having a traditional wedding. Yet, she’s not sure if that would be the wrong thing to do.

Do you agree that Jane cannot get the best of both worlds if none of the “bridesmaids” are actually invited to the nuptials? Should she talk to her friend about this?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.

Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

More About: