She’s Angry That Her Husband’s Affair Has Changed Her
For the last decade, this 33-year-old woman has been married to her 34-year-old husband, and they have two children together.
When their youngest child was only three-months-old, she learned that her husband was having an affair, and it broke her heart.
She was struggling with postpartum depression at the time, too, so this was truly the last thing she needed to deal with.
“I was devastated, and honestly, it created a level of hate, anger, and insecurity that I never knew could exist within me,” she explained.
“My husband gave me about 2 weeks to cry my eyes out before he made everything about himself on how everything was my fault.”
“I never truly got to grieve over everything I’ve lost. He said he’s suffered so much being with me because I’m not caring enough and never [was physical enough] with him.”
Her husband was on temporary duty travel for eight months, and while he was gone, he took his affair partner out on dates and went on vacation with her.
As soon as she uncovered the affair, she issued her husband an apology for neglecting him. From there, she stayed up at night for several evenings in a row, wondering where she went wrong while pondering her part in it.
However, her husband really started milking the situation, and somehow, she was the one attempting to console him while dealing with her newborn baby.
Valerii Honcharuk – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“He told me that we could do therapy so we could sort out all the ways I didn’t love him enough, and that’s when I decided to leave,” she explained.
“After leaving him for 1 year, he called me almost every day saying what a horrible person I was for leaving him, as he was going through a bout of depression about not being promoted.”
“That ME who is now playing single mom, with lack of sleep, deep depression, an almost 1-year-old and 5-year-old, working full time was a horrible person for not being available to provide a shoulder for him to cry on.”
Around two years into their separation, she relented and allowed her husband to move back in with her and the kids.
But instead of things improving between them, they’re only getting worse. Being back with her husband is like a kind of punishment to her since her husband is always furious with her for not being able to get over his affair by now.
Every two days, they argue, and her husband has stated he’s sick of listening to her past feelings and that they should only be focusing on their future.
She doesn’t think that’s a fair ask, and she wants her husband to understand that. She can admit that when they did tie the knot, she had no communication skills, and she internalized her emotions.
She was always told that you shouldn’t nag your husband so that further played into her bottling everything up. Adding that to her husband’s love of complaining about everything under the sun, it has not been a good mix. She regrets everything at this rate.
“My other anger stems from how this has changed me,” she continued. “I have made terrible decisions all in the name of trying to recover from this nightmare. I know that people go through harder things, but this has changed me.”
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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