10 Fights That Damage A Relationship
When The Honeymoon Phase Is Over, Arguments Happen
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. At the beginning of your relationship, you love everything about your partner. Your partner cannot do anything wrong – they are perfect.
Inevitably, the infatuation period will end, and you will see each other as you are. Unfortunately, when this happens, fights are bound to occur.
Here Are 10 Fights That Damage A Relationship
Don’t get me wrong, fighting itself is not a bad thing. What determines whether or not the fight is bad is what you are fighting about and how you are fighting.
Even with that said, some fights are likely to spell doom and gloom for your relationship, especially if that relationship is new. Let’s look closely at 10 fights that will destroy a relationship.
1: One Of You Is Bad At Being Honest
This fight stems from a lack of trust in the relationship. If you notice your partner is dishonest, it will be challenging to move forward in the relationship with confidence that you can trust them.
If this is not resolved immediately, this fight will likely reoccur and spell the end of your relationship. After all, you cannot build a future with someone you do not trust.
2: You Don’t Want The Same Things
Have you and your partner discussed what you want out of the relationship, or are you still just focused on all the lovey-dovey feelings?
Once that fades, you will not make it long-term if you don’t have an idea of each other’s needs, wants, and expectations. You must be on the same page or understand that you want different things.
3: You Can’t Agree On The Future
This is technically a good fight to have, as it is a necessary subject to broach if you are more than causally dating.
However, if you know early on that you want different things in your future (kids, marriage, etc.) and do not agree with each other, the relationship is bound to fail. When you don’t connect on certain fundamental things you see in your future, it just isn’t meant to be.
4: You Spend Your Time Differently
Many of us fall victim to that puppy love phase at the beginning of a relationship, where we spend every waking moment with our new partner. Once this subsides and you go back to living like a normal person, you typically expect your partner to be a part of that schedule, not consuming all your time.
If you find yourself fighting with your partner because one of you wants to control how much time they spend with you vs. living their life (job, friends, trips, etc.), the relationship is likely to fail.
Codependency is not beneficial to your relationship, and it is a major red flag to try to control how your partner spends time outside of the relationship. You had a life before your partner, and you should still have that life.
5: You Feel You’re Compromising To Make The Relationship Work
It is normal to have some degree of compromise in the relationship, but you should not be the only one compromising.
If you are fighting because you are always compromising for your partner, that is a sign that the relationship will not last.
6: Your Partner Holds You Hostage To Your Past
Sometimes you do things in your past you are not proud of. If you disclose those things to your partner, and they always throw them in your face during a fight, your relationship is unlikely to survive.
The relationship cannot move forward if one of you is constantly stuck in the past.
7: One Of You Has Jealousy And Control Issues
If you have fights early on about jealousy, this is unlikely to go away in the long-term. Jealousy can lead to controlling behavior and toxic behaviors.
Jealousy often stems from insecurity, and that insecurity is detrimental to relationships. So, if you are dealing with jealousy at the beginning of the relationship, you are looking at the end of that relationship.
8: Your Lifestyles Are Incompatible
Being different is not a bad thing. But if you are at vastly different points in life, and it’s causing fights, your relationship will not likely survive.
If one of you likes to be in bed by 10 p.m. during the week, but your partner likes to be out until 3 a.m. partying with their friends – you might be too dissimilar to stay together.
Obviously, you have different priorities and goals in life – and that matters for a long-term relationship to thrive.
9: Your Partner Is Always Threatening To End The Relationship
No matter what stage of the relationship you are in, this is straight-up toxic behavior and a major red flag.
This behavior, along with name-calling and playing the blame game, are all behaviors that need to be discussed immediately.
If you have already established ground rules for fighting, and they still throw these out at you, it’s time to break up.
10: You Aren’t Happy
If you are unhappy, that is not a good sign. Furthermore, if you have discussed why you are unhappy with your partner and nothing has changed, it might be time to cut your losses.
A relationship cannot thrive if one or both of you feel unhappy and unappreciated.
What Fights Have You Noticed End Relationships?
I’m curious to hear your thoughts, so let me know in the comments below what fights you think end relationships.
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