7 Signs Your Partner Is Emotionally Manipulating You

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Emotional Manipulation Can Be So Subtle, You Might Not Realize It’s Happening

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The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. Emotional manipulation in relationships can be really subtle, but its effects are the complete opposite. Instead of fostering respect and open communication, one partner will use psychological tactics to confuse and control the other.

They might prey on your insecurities, twist your words, and make you question your own thoughts and emotions.

Here Are 7 Signs Your Partner Is Emotionally Manipulating You

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Then, over time, you’re left feeling drained, anxious, and unsure of who you are or what’s real in your relationship.

You should never be forced to second-guess yourself or walk on eggshells just to keep the peace. Nonetheless, if you can relate, realize you aren’t alone. Here are seven signs that your partner is emotionally manipulating you.

1. They Use Love Bombing To Gain Control

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At the start of a relationship, you might feel like you’re caught up in a whirlwind romance, not being love-bombed. Your partner may have showered you with compliments, gifts, and grand gestures while pushing for commitment quickly and claiming you’re “the one.”

Sadly, this overwhelming affection isn’t always genuine and is just a tool to get you emotionally invested. Then, the adoration starts to fade and is replaced with criticism, withdrawal, or other forms of manipulation to maintain power over you.

The same person who once put you on a pedestal does everything they can to keep you tied to them. While this push-and-pull dynamic is undeniably toxic, it still creates a strong form of emotional dependency that can make it hard to recognize the abuse for what it is.

2. They Gaslight You Into Questioning Your Reality

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Gaslighting is one of the most psychologically damaging manipulation tactics. Maybe your partner denies things you clearly remember happening, twists your words, or accuses you of overreacting when you get upset about something.

They might claim you’re “imagining things” or constantly making “everything about you.” These comments are designed to chip away at your confidence and push you to question your memory, judgment, or even your sanity.

If you frequently feel confused after fights or find yourself apologizing when you’re not even sure you did anything wrong, gaslighting could be involved.

3. Your Partner Lies And Plays The Blame Game To Avoid Taking Accountability

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Every person on earth makes mistakes, but people who are emotionally manipulative rarely own up to theirs. Instead, they may try to shift the narrative, exaggerate the truth, or flat-out lie to make themselves seem like the victim.

So, if something goes wrong, it’s somehow always your fault, and even if you bring up a legitimate concern, they just deflect your feelings by pointing out some of your flaws instead. By constantly shifting blame, your partner is keeping you stuck in a loop of guilt and self-doubt that can wreck your sense of self.

4. They Act Passive-Aggressive Instead Of Directly Communicating

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Rather than sharing how they really feel, manipulative partners tend to rely on passive-aggressive behavior in order to make their points.

This could look like giving you the cold shoulder, making sarcastic remarks, or stonewalling you. As a result, you’re left guessing what’s wrong and tiptoeing around to avoid triggering another blow-up.

Or, your partner might start sighing loudly and rolling their eyes, hoping you’ll probe deeper or even take the blame without them having to be vulnerable. All of these behaviors are immature, create emotional distance, and further fuel control over you by making you confused.

5. Your Partner Gives You The Silent Treatment When They Don’t Get Their Way

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Similarly, when your partner doesn’t get what they want, they might withdraw affection or stop talking to you as a form of punishment. So, you feel obligated to apologize just to break the silence, even if you weren’t at fault.

Again, this withdrawal is designed to make you feel anxious in their absence and desperate for their attention. It reinforces a power imbalance that, over time, teaches you to continue suppressing your own needs and opinions to avoid being “shut out.”

6. They’ve Isolated You From Your Support System

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Another dangerous sign of emotional manipulation is isolation. Perhaps your partner subtly discourages you from hanging out with friends or family members. Or, they criticize the people closest to you, claim they’re a bad influence, or try to make you feel guilty for wanting to spend any time apart.

No matter the tactic, the end goal is always the same: to make you feel as if your partner is the only one who truly understands you and supports you. Down the line, being isolated from your support system can make it much tougher to leave the relationship or realize what’s really happening.

7. You Never Feel Like You’re Good Enough

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Finally, healthy relationships are supposed to lift us up, yet your partner may act like you’re not living up to their expectations. They might magnify your flaws, criticize your appearance, compare you to others, never actually acknowledge your accomplishments, and make you feel bad for setting boundaries.

When you constantly have such a negative voice in your ear, you could begin to doubt your own worth and wonder whether anyone else would love you. The erosion of your self-esteem is a slippery slope that can lead to anxiety, depression, and a belief that you’re inadequate, which makes it that much harder to walk away from your relationship.

Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

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