She’s A Teacher Saying Parents Need To Tell Their Kids No, Otherwise They Don’t Respect Authority
For some kids, kindergarten is their first real taste of rules, structures, and social dynamics. It’s a lot of change, and kids and parents must learn the ropes together.
Emily Perkins (@emmymckenny) is a kindergarten teacher, and she’s on TikTok sharing one of the most important things that parents can do to prepare their kids to enter this stage in life.
She says that teaching kids how to take no for an answer ranks above teaching them how to open their own snacks and tie their shoes. Her advice may be controversial, but it does affect learning in the classroom.
“Tell your child no. Tell them no as a complete sentence,” said Emily. “Do not teach them that telling them no invites them to argue with you.”
As a teacher, if she can’t tell a child no, then that child is basically unteachable. Kids need to respect authority and understand that they can’t always get their way.
Emily makes it clear that she is willing to help her students with whatever they need, whether it’s tying their shoes, blowing their noses, or washing their hands.
But she and other teachers cannot keep fighting kids who won’t accept no for an answer. She also mentioned how the meaning of gentle parenting has turned into being a pushover.
She says that it’s possible to validate your child’s feelings without always giving in to their will.
“I had a parent tell me that they don’t tell their child no because it triggers them. If you want to have a kid who you can’t tell no, and you don’t ever want to use the word no in your vocabulary, and then you want to be able to tell them no, and they argue with you immediately? Teach your own kids,” Emily stated.
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Overall, it becomes difficult to help students learn when teachers can’t tell them no. Many people in the comments section, from parents to other teachers, agreed with Emily’s take.
“A child who doesn’t hear the word no becomes an adult who doesn’t respect the word no and therefore doesn’t respect people’s boundaries,” pointed out one person.
“Fellow kindergarten teacher, best advice ever! I have multiple students who melt down/argue multiple times a day when I tell them no,” shared another.
“I was a pushover mom until someone asked me what if your child doesn’t stop when you tell them to, and you are in a parking lot? Or they are about to pull a pot of boiling water off the stove. Tons of various scenarios that involve basic safety. A kid has to know stop means stop and no means no,” wrote a third.
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