The Snail Theory Makes The Case For Slowing Down In Order To Build Lasting Friendships
Didn’t life seem to move more slowly just a decade or two ago? Today, we are constantly bombarded by things like advertising, news, social media, and interpersonal communication that never seem to stop.
Dating has quickened, too. Gone are the days of organic meet-cutes, courting, and relationships that deepen over time.
Apps like Tinder and Hinge may have streamlined the process, helping singles weed through potential partners more quickly, but they arguably took away the magic of genuine connection as well.
Platonic friendships have suffered a similar toll. As a kid, you might’ve had a childhood best friend who lived down the block, and inviting them to hang out required giving their home phone a call or actually knocking on their front door.
Texts have become the go-to way to stay in touch, and amidst relentlessly busy work schedules, plenty of adults have a tough time forming new and real friendships.
Plus, the loneliness epidemic has pushed plenty to thrust themselves into friendships that develop rapidly and often lack the foundation of understanding and shared experience that could make them so meaningful.
In the face of all these issues, one phenomenon known as “Snail Theory” offers a different approach to forging worthwhile connections in adulthood.
Writer Rich Brown coined the term, saying that “Developing connections at a snail’s pace allows us to appreciate the nuances of our friendships, building them on shared experiences and genuine understanding, rather than the superficial bases that quick connections often stand on.”
Our shortening attention spans in the wake of advanced technology have made people more prone to seeking out instant gratification wherever they can. “Snail Theory” directly fights that urge, encouraging people to slow down and think critically about the bonds they form.
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It makes sense, especially as we age, too. Think about it: the older you’ve become, the more you’ve probably learned about yourself and your values.
Jumping into a friendship on a whim may give you comradery with a coworker at the office or a person to grab drinks with on Friday nights, but it may not afford you true relatability.
Snail Theory friendships, on the other hand, take their sweet time maturing, and there isn’t pressure to rush the process.
You may encounter someone multiple times before exchanging numbers, casually speaking, and gradually deepening your relationship.
Then, constant conversations or hangouts aren’t expected or necessary. You and your friend can each navigate your respective lives, realizing that going days or even weeks without communication is natural.
Your bond isn’t broken when you cannot provide constant updates or attend every get-together. Instead, when you do get to talk and see each other again, it’s like no time has passed at all.
If you’ve been lucky enough to hold on to a friend since college, high school, or even earlier, you two likely share a Snail Theory friendship already.
Despite moving to different places, launching new careers, or embarking on fresh adventures, you always managed to come back to each other.
Putting this idea into practice today will require some self-awareness and patience because, again, going against the rapid-paced nature of modern life will feel tough. Instant gratification has become the norm, and anything slower may seem like a waste of time.
Nonetheless, give yourself the opportunity to explore how nurturing a relationship over the long term can be more fulfilling.
Learn about others (and open up about yourself) on a deeper level in due time, and don’t forget to acknowledge each other’s boundaries.
As the saying goes, “The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long.” Fast-to-form friendships may feel exciting at the moment, but they’re often quicker to fade. Slow-burning bonds are those that grow stronger and weather more storms.
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