7 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Deserve You
Imbalance Is A Death Sentence For Any Relationship, But Especially Romantic Ones
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. Don’t get me wrong: being different from your partner is one thing that’s actually encouraged.
You two don’t have to share the exact same interests because life would probably become quite monotonous and boring. Not to mention, we all have our own strong suits and struggles, so dating someone who can balance out your quirks (and vice versa) is a recipe for success.
Here Are 7 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Deserve You
However, inequity is another story. Regardless of what strengths or weaknesses you and your partner have as humans, you each have to contribute equally to your relationship by showing up the best you can. And if your partner doesn’t pull their weight, it can leave you begging the question, “Do they even deserve me?”
If I could give you just one piece of advice, it’d be this: don’t confuse chemistry with care. You may get butterflies and feel on top of the world when things are “good,” but if they fail to put you first when times get tough, it’s clear your relationship is built on pure passion, not genuine commitment. And you’re entitled to more than that.
Ahead, we are breaking down 7 other telltale signs that your partner really just doesn’t deserve you, no matter how much you may think you love them.
1. They’re Self-Centered, Not Selfless
Anyone who is self-centered should honestly just stay single because it takes real selflessness to actively consider another person’s feelings and make a relationship with them work.
Does it seem like your partner prioritizes convenience over you, only reaching out or lending a shoulder to lean on when it fits their schedule? Or do they fail to think about your feelings, forcing you to cater to their every whim without getting that same respect in return?
If you answered “yes” to either of these questions, the answer is clear: you’re dating a self-centered individual, and they will never give you the consideration you deserve.
2. You Can’t Rely On Your Partner
Why would you ever choose to be with someone you can’t depend on? This is an easy question to ask as an outsider, but when you’re stuck in an unreliable relationship, reality gets murkier.
Maybe your partner has repeatedly broken your trust by failing to follow through on promises, lying about what they’re really up to, or even being unfaithful. And perhaps you believe that people can “change,” so you’ve continued giving them second, third, or a million chances.
I agree that people have the capacity to change, but many just don’t want to. So, if your partner has shown you who they are time and time again, believe them.
3. They Are Emotionally Unavailable
If you are truly searching for a partner in crime to survive (and thrive) in life with, then vulnerability is a non-negotiable requirement. Yet, so many people today are just emotionally checked out or unavailable.
Maybe your partner struggles to open up about their feelings, avoids tough but necessary conversations, or seems flat-out uncomfortable whenever you try to broach certain topics. You have to ask yourself if your partner is fulfilling your needs as they are now.
If not, it may be better to recognize your worth and leave sooner as opposed to, again, making the (risky) bet that they’ll “change” and winding up disappointed later.
4. You’ve Changed Who You Are To Make Your Partner Happy
It is absolutely crucial that you hold on to your sense of self and individuality after you leave singlehood. Yes, personal growth and evolution are still very important while you’re in a relationship, but it’s vital to do it on your own terms.
In other words, your partner should never try to change parts of who you are, whether that be your appearance, friends, career, or interests, to “better fit” their life. On the contrary, your partner is supposed to appreciate, accommodate, and accept you exactly as you are, without any strings attached.
5. They’ve Strung You Along
Speaking of strings, have you been stuck in a “situationship” for what seems like forever despite wanting more? Plus, is your partner fully aware of your relationship intentions?
It’s common for people to avoid commitment for countless reasons, ranging from childhood trauma to a fear of abandonment. Nonetheless, it’s not fair for you to continue putting in relationship-level effort without receiving the exclusivity you crave.
At some point, you have to realize that if your relationship is not serving you, then it may be best to leave it behind.
6. Your Contributions Go Unacknowledged
On a similar note, does all the effort you invest into making your relationship stay afloat go relatively unnoticed?
Consider how much time, energy, and even money you have put into being with your partner. Now, ask yourself, when was the last time they truly thanked you for anything, from reminding them about a doctor’s appointment to taking them out for dinner?
Gratitude is the glue that holds relationships together, so a lack thereof will cause them to crack. Without appreciation, you’re bound to feel undervalued and overlooked, and you obviously deserve better than that.
7. Your Loved Ones Don’t Approve Of Your Relationship
Finally, it can definitely sting when your friends and family don’t like your partner. But instead of getting defensive and immediately coming up with excuses to justify their behavior, try thinking about where your loved ones are really coming from.
Remember, they’re able to view your relationship from a different perspective without any rose-colored glasses. Not to mention, they probably just want the best for you and have picked up on the mistreatment you’re receiving in your relationship.
So, I advise you to at least hear your friends and family out. Because sometimes, it’s easier to hear the truth from others than to admit it to yourself.
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