7 Signs Your Partner Isn’t Trustworthy
Relationships Without Trust Simply Cannot Last
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. You have to be able to rely on your partner, put faith in their word, and know that they have your best interests at heart.
Otherwise, you will be left constantly questioning their actions and motives, wondering if they’re being genuine or pulling something over on you.
Here Are 7 Signs Your Partner Isn’t Trustworthy
But aside from discovering something “major” like outright cheating, there are usually other subtler indicators that someone isn’t as dependable or honest as they may seem.
To save yourself from deception or even heartbreak later, here are seven indicators that your partner isn’t trustworthy.
1. Your Partner Doesn’t Follow Through On Promises
It’s easy to “talk the talk,” but it’s harder to “walk the walk,” particularly when you’re balancing a relationship and perhaps something else you shouldn’t be doing.
Does your partner say they’re going to show up for important events, help you out with tasks, or just promise to be there for you when you need support? Then, when the time actually comes, do they flake?
This is the M.O. of a partner you can’t depend on. It’s possible they’re just an unreliable person or unwilling to fully commit. Or they could be trying to juggle your needs with something or someone else who’s pulling their attention away (and failing).
2. They Don’t Own Up To Mistakes
There’s nothing more disheartening than being with a person who can never take accountability for their actions.
Look, we are all imperfect human beings, meaning we’re bound to make mistakes. That’s fine, too, because the most important thing is that we have the emotional maturity and tact to own up to them.
Your partner, on the other hand, may just get defensive, push the blame on you, or concoct tons of excuses to avoid apologizing. This sends a clear message that, when push comes to shove, they care more about preserving their ego than validating your feelings. And what’s more untrustworthy than that?
3. Your Partner Doesn’t Prioritize Quality Time
I understand that life is hectic, and plenty of couples struggle to align their schedules amidst personal and professional responsibilities. But if your partner continuously fails to make time for you, it’s a red flag.
Someone who truly cares about you (and wants your relationship to last) will show up, period. And if they only come around when it’s seemingly “convenient,” like late at night or at the last minute, then perhaps your partner is viewing you as a second choice and has someone else in their back pocket.
4. They Act Secretive About Their Devices
Yes, everyone is entitled to their personal space and privacy, but in today’s age, it’s understandable why certain suspicious behavior surrounding smartphones and other devices would set off alarm bells in relationships.
Are you forbidden from going on your partner’s laptop? Do they keep their phone on them 24/7, turn away when responding to texts, or even refuse to let you borrow it for simple phone calls or Google searches?
While they could be hiding something innocent, like what they’re buying for your birthday, the chances are slim, especially if the pattern continues for a long time. In this case, you have the right to question what’s really going on and how trustworthy your partner truly is.
5. You’ve Begun Snooping
Again, since everyone is allowed to set boundaries, snooping is never really encouraged. But if you’ve been driven to resort to this behavior, it obviously suggests that you don’t trust your partner.
Have you begun checking their texts while they’re in the shower? Or are you combing through their emails when they’re at work? Finally, have you begun obsessively tracking their location to confirm they’re really where they say they are?
Whether you’ve found anything incriminating or not, the proof is in the pudding. For some reason, you don’t have full trust in your partner, and that’s a problem.
6. You’ve Caught Them In Lies Before
Trust is something that’s earned slowly, so once it’s broken, it takes a long time to rebuild. Honesty is also a practice that goes hand-in-hand with trust. Couples must be able to share their true feelings, thoughts, and actions with each other. But if your partner has done things that made them feel shameful, guilty, or embarrassed in the past, they might’ve hidden those acts from you.
Of course, those emotions aren’t enjoyable, but partners are supposed to be honest with each other anyway. And if you’ve already caught your significant other in lies before, it could mean they tend to avoid tough conversations for the sake of remaining comfortable.
It’s hard to trust someone who values self-protection over the health of your greater relationship, especially when you two are supposed to be “in it together.”
7. You Have A Gut Feeling
Lastly, the right relationship will not leave you with hints of doubt bubbling beneath the surface. So, if your gut is telling you to watch out, it’s usually smart to listen.
A trustworthy partner is someone you can turn to, even in moments of confusion or concern, and have faith that they’ll answer your questions transparently, prove their loyalty, and reassure you of their intentions. And if you don’t feel like you’ll receive that same response from your partner, then something is off.
Remember that your intuition is there to protect you. So, no matter how much you want to lead with your heart, realize that your subconscious is trying to save you from heartache down the line.
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