His Ex-Wife Is Angry That He Buys His Kids Nice Things, And She Can’t Afford To Do The Same For Her Children, Who Are Now Jealous Of The Inequalities
Divorce may end a marriage, but it doesn’t end the mess that follows. This dad worked hard to keep things civil after the split, supporting his kids, offering his ex rent-free housing, and making sure their lives stayed steady.
But now that his ex-wife is struggling financially and raising more children, the lines are blurring. Her household is stretched thin, and his kids are caught in the middle, resented for what they have, restricted from enjoying it, and choosing to stay away.
His ex is freaking out on him for failing to bail her out. But he’s starting to wonder: Is setting a boundary really the same as turning your back?
He’s 45 and he and his 40-year-old ex-wife, Mel, share two kids together: 11-year-old Travis and 14-year-old Emmy. A couple of years ago, they divorced, and it was as ugly as it gets.
“I’m not a high-income guy, but I have a family trust from my grandfather that provides a very comfortable lifestyle,” he explained.
“It wasn’t counted in the divorce, nor could it be touched for child support or alimony, which Mel still resents to this day.”
“Mel never went back to work after the divorce (she used to be a teacher), and I let her live rent-free in one of my parents’ properties so the kids could stay close. She’s since remarried and has two more kids with her new husband, but money seems to still be a major issue in that household.”
And this is where things get problematic; his children, Travis and Emmy, have a much higher-quality life than Mel’s kids.
Travis and Emmy attend private school, and he buys them expensive presents, like a new MacBook, a Switch 2, and lacrosse gear.
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He takes Travis and Emmy on vacation with him and his family members. Mel’s kids don’t have the same luxuries, which has made the kids jealous and argumentative.
Travis and Emmy hate sharing their nice belongings with their half-siblings, as everything always ends up broken. For example, Mel’s kids broke their PS4 one time.
“They don’t want their stuff ruined, and honestly, I don’t blame them. Apparently, this caused yet another meltdown between Mel and her husband, and now she’s banned the kids from bringing their gifts to her house at all,” he added.
Travis and Emmy have been spending more time at his house instead of Mel’s, since they don’t want to be in a home where they can’t have fun with their belongings.
Well, Mel is filing for child support, which he acknowledges she’s permitted to do, and his mom and dad told Mel that, come September, she has to pay them rent.
Mel is complaining that she cannot afford to pay rent, so she will be forced to move to another state where the kids can’t come with her. Mel is completely melting down over all of this.
“But here’s the thing, and I know this is harsh, at some point, she and her husband need to get it together and stop blaming me and my kids for their lack of resources. Life isn’t always fair,” he continued.
“Our kids have different opportunities, and that’s not my responsibility to ‘balance out.’ I’m not going to tell my kids they have to share everything just so their half-siblings don’t feel bad. That’s not how the world works.”
“I could help more, sure, but why should I keep picking up the slack because she and her husband can’t provide? I already let her live rent-free for years. I don’t think I owe more than that. That said, maybe I’m being too blunt or dismissive.”
Do you think he’s wrong?
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