She Was Called Unprofessional By Her Manager For Sharing Information About Her Recent Breakup At A Work Event
Work parties are weird. You’re expected to show up, smile, and walk the tightrope between fun and professional.
But what happens when you’re human instead? When you’re hurting and vulnerable, and the mask slips, just for a minute?
She didn’t mean to overshare. A breakup will crack anyone open, and she thought she was confiding in people who cared.
Instead, it got back to her boss, and now she’s left wondering if one emotional night might’ve stained her entire reputation at work.
Two months ago, this 22-year-old girl began a new job, and she’s the new face around the office. Their company is tiny, and there are only about 10 employees.
Every year, her company throws a party, and she decided to attend. She wants you to know that this is the first job in corporate America that she’s ever held.
She makes sure she’s on time to work on a daily basis, and she leaves her baggage at home. She’s not there to stir the pot or trauma dump on her coworkers.
Anyway, she couldn’t help but be distraught when it came time to show up for the work party, as she recently broke up with her boyfriend.
There are two female coworkers she’s close to, and she filled them in on the details of her split. Both of them were happy to lend an ear, and they reassured her they had been down the same path before.
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“However, when our male colleagues got involved, they overheard me talking, and they feigned sympathy, and asked me more questions about it, to which stupid me, with 2 glasses of wine, probably said more than I should’ve,” she explained.
“I said I’m very upset that I loved him, blah blah blah. Anyway, I just spoke about my boyfriend pretty much the entire time, well, my ex-boyfriend. And my manager, who is also HR of my company, was not there.”
It’s now three weeks past the date of the work party, and her manager has finally returned to the office. Her manager pulled her aside and said she was unprofessional and had to be more mindful at company events.
She couldn’t help but feel humiliated, and she expressed her shock to her manager that her coworkers had said anything at all, considering they were so supportive.
Her manager informed her that her male coworkers were the ones who had said they were ‘concerned’ after what she said at the party.
“I told her that I’m very embarrassed and that I didn’t think I overstepped in the things I said. But she rehearsed with me that this was not an HR meeting, it’s just simply that she wants to warn me not to share too much, especially with the male colleagues,” she continued.
“She was very sweet about it and said that she was embarrassed to bring it up to me herself because she’s been in the same situation and this situation has happened to a lot of the girls at work, but ultimately she just told me that I need to be careful.”
“I’m so embarrassed. I overshare too much, I know, but it didn’t help that all of them seemed genuinely curious and sympathetic, and now they are going to my manager.”
What advice do you have for her?
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