Her Ex-Husband Cheated, Gave Her An STI, Wrecked The Relationship With Their Kids, And Still Thinks She Needs To Help Him Fix Everything
Imagine being married to your spouse for 10 whole years and having three young kids together, only to find out they’ve been cheating on you with multiple people.
That’s the sad situation this 46-year-old woman found herself in years ago, and now, she refuses to feel bad for her 48-year-old ex-husband, John.
While they were still married, she had to find out about her ex’s infidelity in one of the most horrifying ways, too. She didn’t just discover texts or emails; instead, she wound up suffering some strange symptoms, going to her doctor, and learning that she’d gotten a disease from her ex, which led her to experience pelvic inflammatory disorder.
It turned out that John had been cheating with various women and even had a full-blown affair with one of them, named Cathy.
“The whole thing was devastating, and John didn’t even pretend he was concerned about me. But he was concerned about his affair partner, Cathy,” she recalled.
So, after she and John got divorced, he actually proceeded to marry Cathy. Meanwhile, she was forced to pick up the pieces of her own life, help her three children cope with the divorce, and try to remain civil throughout it all.
That’s why she maintained little contact with John and Cathy and refused to talk to them unless she absolutely needed to. On a few occasions, they tried to increase their contact so they could all be “friends,” but she immediately shut that idea down.
As for her kids, they had a solid relationship with her ex up until a couple of years ago, due to John and Cathy’s inability to have children together. Apparently, Cathy kept suffering losses, and her kids felt pressured to fill that void in their stepmother’s life.
“So she’d still feel like a mother, but none of them had a close relationship with her. And they felt like their dad was manipulative about it, so they started going to his house less and faded away,” she explained.
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That leads us to this past May, when her youngest son graduated and didn’t invite John or Cathy to the ceremony. Her son had considered it, but in the end, he realized that he wanted his achievement to be the focus of the day, not any parental drama.
If you couldn’t have guessed, though, her ex wasn’t okay with that. John actually tried to force her to change her son’s mind, and he also threw a “pity party” for himself, talking about their baby losses and how Cathy loved their kids but never got a chance to be a mother herself.
At the time, she just blocked her ex’s number so that he’d stop texting her. More recently, though, he’s begun showing up at her house and, again, trying to make her feel bad for both him and Cathy. Moreover, he wants her to help mend her kids’ relationships with them.
John wishes that the children would be present again in his and Cathy’s lives, and he wants her to encourage them to do that. Why? Well, he doesn’t want Cathy to feel like she’s missed out on all of the “motherly” experiences.
“He wanted me to treat her like their other mother and present as a team so that when weddings and babies come along, Cathy will be included and equal in all of it,” she detailed.
Quite frankly, though, she ran out of patience quickly and told John to get away from both her and her house. She admitted that she’d never feel bad for him, and called it “outrageous” that he’d attempt to make her feel responsible for him and Cathy’s happiness after how he treated her.
“I told him he caused all of this and he can fix it, but he doesn’t deserve a single ounce of kindness or compassion from me after his actions in our marriage,” she revealed.
“He tried to argue, but I closed my front door, and he left after that.”
And unfortunately, the tension between her and John has since begun to cause a rift with John’s sister as well. She was previously close to her former sister-in-law, but following their argument, she took her ex’s side.
Her sister-in-law understands why she hates John, yet also believes she could’ve been nicer to her ex, given all of the losses he’s suffered. On top of that, her sister-in-law said that she should want her kids to have John and Cathy in their lives, which would be “better” for them and their own future children.
“I told her I owed the two of them nothing and did not wish for their happiness. His sister told me I had proven to be spiteful and hurt her brother when our divorce happened more than a decade ago now, and it’s truly in the past,” she shared.
She’s honestly upset about her relationship with John’s sister taking a hit over their grievances. Nonetheless, she realizes that siblings will usually stick together in the end, and while she used to value John’s sister’s opinion, she disagrees with her perspective on the situation now.
Still, in the wake of all this drama, she can’t stop wondering whether telling John that she’ll never feel bad for him or help him fix things with their children was justified or actually a jerky move.
Do you agree that her ex’s happiness is not her responsibility? Would you have reacted the same way?
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