Infertility carries a kind of grief no one talks about. But for men, it also carries shame. He’s not ashamed of being vulnerable; he’s ashamed of being spoken about. And now the woman he loves wants to hand that private story to someone else before he’s even finished processing it himself.
This 25-year-old man and his 25-year-old wife have been trying to have a baby without any success, and they recently found out that he’s the reason why.
He doesn’t want to give out more details regarding his medical information, but his wife has been having a tough time coping with what the doctors have told them.
His wife has expressed wanting to conceive their baby in a natural way, which is now no longer possible, and they are undergoing fertility treatments.
“This is weighing on me very hard because I hate being a failure, and I feel as if I am one here. My wife wants to talk about this with her best friends, and I have not agreed to it yet because I’m not comfortable sharing this information,” he explained.
“The main reason is because I’m not comfortable with MY fertility and medical information being known right now. I’m embarrassed and upset by it, and frankly, it’s no one else’s business.”
Well, he did allow his wife to share their struggles with her best friend, but he requested that his wife refrain from telling her bestie about his medical issues that have led to this.
He also asked his wife to make sure her best friend would promise not to tell a single soul, including her boyfriend. While this guy is wonderful and he’s close to him, he doesn’t want him to know about such a sensitive subject.
His wife argued that he was not being reasonable to ask her friend to keep a big secret from her boyfriend. He pointed out to his wife that their fertility journey doesn’t involve her best friend or boyfriend.
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His wife is mad that he’s not willing to let her go around talking about his medical information, and she said she’s going to end up in a depression over not being able to express herself.
He’s left wondering if he’s wrong here or if his wife is.
So much of infertility is out of your hands, and I think he’s just asking to hold onto one thing that’s still his to control. His wife deserves support, but not at the cost of violating something he’s not ready to share.
There’s a way through this, but it starts with her listening to how sensitive he feels about letting the world know about his infertility.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
