She And Her Husband Have An Open Marriage, But She’s Upset He Told His Ex He Loves Her
Having an open marriage doesn’t mean anything goes; it just means the rules are different. So when her husband lied to her, then delayed cutting another woman off, and still clung to “but I love her,” it stopped being about non-monogamy and started being about disrespect.
This 46-year-old woman and her 55-year-old husband, Dale, have an open marriage, and they have one rule: they both have to be completely honest with each other.
Dale did have a physical relationship with 42-year-old Roxy, his ex-girlfriend, which he hid from her. When she discovered this, Dale promised he would quit seeing Roxy, but he took his sweet time cutting her off.
“I’ve decided to forgive him and try to move forward, but it hasn’t been easy. What hurt me the most was finding out (from her, quite maliciously) that when he left her place, he would often tell her he loves her,” she explained.
“I told him I wasn’t okay with this. He insists it’s reasonable. He says he’s not in love with her but does still love her, and that not being able to say it would be denying how he feels.”
“I see it differently. To me, it feels disrespectful, especially given that he was unfaithful with her, hid it from me, and that she used this to hurt me.”
While Dale is no longer running around telling Roxy that he’s still in love with her, and she believes he will keep his word this time, she’s still hurt and can’t move past it.
She’s left wondering if she’s being too dramatic, or if what Dale did in the first place is wrong.
I don’t think she’s overreacting. Dale lied, and now wants to frame his lingering feelings as emotional honesty instead of accountability. You don’t get to hide things, hurt your partner, and then defend your behavior like it’s noble.
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
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