There is nothing worse to me than adults who abuse children and animals. There’s a special kind of evil in taking innocence and instilling fear. That’s the reality for one little boy whose story absolutely broke me.
Now, he’s living with his dad and his dad’s girlfriend after being rescued from his mom and an abusive situation, and they’re trying to help him unlearn everything he thought love was.
This woman’s boyfriend has a 10-year-old son who recently came to live with them permanently after CPS took him out of his mom’s house.
Her boyfriend’s son was sadly being severely abused by his mom’s boyfriend, and while she and her own boyfriend suspected something was wrong, they had no clue how ugly everything truly was. It was only after CPS entered the picture that she and her boyfriend were filled in.
“Her boyfriend had been locking him in a cupboard, actually making him sleep in there at night. He’d withhold food, hit him, scream at him, and call him names. He told this little boy awful things,” she explained.
“Before anyone wonders why his dad didn’t step in sooner, it wasn’t because he didn’t care. He’s always loved his son and wanted to be in his life, but his ex made it nearly impossible. She constantly moved without telling him, blocked his number, and even lied to the court about where she was living.”
“She’s also been struggling with pills for a long time, and that’s when everything really started to fall apart. When she was using heavily, she’d disappear for days or let her boyfriend handle everything, and that’s when most of the abuse happened. My boyfriend tried to fight for custody, but every time he got close, she would vanish again or make up some story.”
Not too long ago, her boyfriend’s ex reappeared, and CPS dug into her home life. Her boyfriend feels so guilty about what happened to his son at the hands of his ex, but he didn’t know, so he couldn’t have prevented it.
Three months ago, her boyfriend’s son moved in, and while they show him love and support him as best they can, this poor kid thinks it’s some kind of a trick.
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Her boyfriend’s son is a sweetie, but he’s always on pins and needles. If they shut a door too loudly, this kid will jump right out of his skin.
If someone uses an elevated voice or laughs too hard, her boyfriend’s son freezes. Her boyfriend’s son says sorry nonstop, even if it’s a small accident.
“It’s like he’s wired to expect punishment for existing. The sleeping situation is the hardest part. We tried to make his room special, but almost every night, I find him curled up under the kitchen sink,” she added.
“I asked him once why he liked it there, and he told me softly, ‘No one can find me here. It’s quiet.’ I didn’t even know what to say. I just sat on the floor beside him for a while and rubbed his back. We don’t force him to sleep in his bed. I figure he’ll use it when he’s ready.”
“He also has really bad separation anxiety, especially with his dad. If my boyfriend has to go to work, it’s heartbreaking. He clings to him and cries. When his dad finally has to go, he’ll go inside his closet and just sit in the dark.”
She’s at home during the day, so mainly she’s alone with her boyfriend’s son. Initially, the boy didn’t say a word to her and stayed away.
But in time, he’s opened up a bit. He will sit next to her when she’s on the couch, and occasionally, he will lean his head up against her.
When she cooks in the kitchen, he likes to stand there and watch what she does. He asked her if he could help her make food, and she’s been happy to teach him how to make sandwiches, eggs, and other simple dishes.
The tiny glimmers that he trusts her are in there. For instance, when she folds laundry, he will sit beside her and fold too without her seeking out his help.
“If I leave the room, he’ll follow me, but not in an anxious way, more like he just wants to be near someone. But there are still really hard moments. He doesn’t eat much, even though we keep telling him he can have as much as he wants,” she continued.
“He takes small portions and hides snacks in random places, under his pillow, behind the couch. We don’t scold him. We just gently tell him that food isn’t going anywhere, that he can always have more.”
They have put him in therapy, and his therapist warned them that it’s going to be an enormous investment of time, stability, and tolerance before this boy bounces back in a significant way.
She and her boyfriend reassure him daily, and they provide him with a routine to help him feel more at ease. They get him to bed at the same time, talk to him calmly and kindly, and praise him.
Her boyfriend’s son is coming around, slowly but surely, and she has hope for what the future with him will look like.
“I love this kid so much. I never thought I could care this deeply for someone who isn’t biologically mine, but he’s completely taken over my heart. It’s been emotionally heavy,” she said.
“Every day, I just want to give him a hug and a kiss and tell him I love him. If anyone has been through something similar, helping a child heal from severe trauma, I’d love any advice or even just words of encouragement. We’re doing everything we can to make him feel safe and loved, but I know it’s going to be a long road.”
This is one of the most heartbreaking stories I have ever heard, and I think that perhaps getting this little boy a pet could make a big difference.
Also, when I was little, I loved lava lamps and those little glow-in-the-dark stars you could stick on the walls; having small things like that in his bedroom might help him feel more secure in there. She can also give him a special snack basket to keep in his room since he’s so food insecure.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
